Like The Sea
by KatjaLillian
Summary: Kailasa should have been married a long time ago, and since her mother died she has been sent throughout Westeros on a tour to find a husband. When she stops by Winterfell she meets a Stark and a Snow. AU a bit OOC more information inside RS/OC/JS
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay, so this is a complete AU, and if anything, the events of the books happens long after this, and I may even write that later.**

**There is a House Merrin in this, and they are the overlords of the Coast which runs along the Riverlands and the Stormlands and is rich from trade with the Free Cities.**

"Father, must I continue this?" A girl of seventeen asked. "I haven't been home at all in the last year." The girl did not look much like her father. Everyone told her that she had her grandmother's look. A Valaryian look. Silver blonde hair and light skin. She missed the purple eyes, though, and otherwise her features were like her mother. Kailasa knew she looked like her mother, Katherine Lannister, not of the head of the Lannister house, but the sister of the late Joanna Lannister.

"It is about time that you are married, Kailasa." Her father, Lord Malcolm Merrin told her. His hair used to be red, but now it had faded to grey, and receded far to the back of his head. He wasn't a very beautiful man, and the only resemblance he has to his daughter was from his eyes, his clear blue eyes.

The girl looked down at the reigns she held in her hands as she sat in the saddle of her white horse. She knew the real reason was because she looked like her late mother. In the last year she had not been allowed to stay home for more than three days during her "tour" of Westeros. Some of her just hoped that her father would just send her to Dorne to live with her brother and his wife, Meara, a princess of Dorne. They were where she wanted to be. She wanted to see her nephews, and meet the niece that would be born any day now. She loved Dorne in the one time she visited. They had fountains as big as ponds, and the best food and wine she had ever tasted. Everyone there was sweet and kind to her. They taught her so much.

But the Coast did as well. Where sailing was the most prominent form of travel and trade, it was impossible not to learn how to sail a ship.

"Kai, you can't pretend to be a girl forever, you have been a woman for many years now." Lord Merrin told her, his hand resting on her knee.

"Where am I going now?" She asked, not looking at him and being careful to keep emotions out of her voice.

"North, to Winterfell." He told her.

"You want to upset the Starks by having me reject their heir?" Kailasa asked. "Do you realize that that is the reason you haven't sent me to King's Landing to see Joffery yet?"

"How do you know you will reject him?" Lord Merrin asked. "I have heard he is a handsome boy."

"So was the lord in the Stormlands, the Riverlands, the Reach, the-"

"I get it." Her father cut her off. "But connecting our houses would be good for both of us. Just try, Kai. I promised you a true marriage, and that you shall have. You even have a home here if you can convince your husband to come south."

"Are you so sure that they will want me or I them?" Kailasa asked.

"There are three potentially eligable men in that castle, Kailasa. The odds are in your favor." He told her.

"And they are?"

"Robb Stark, Theon Greyjoy, and Jon Snow."

"You'd be fine with me marrying a bastard or an Iron Islander?" Kailasa asked.

"I'd prefer you make that choice." Lord Merrin told her. "But I don't really like the Iron Islanders too much. The Dornishmen have convinced me with their beliefs about bastards, just as they have with you. If you wish to marry any of them, you may have Silversheet, taking care of both Goldenbirth and Silversheet has been such a hardship on me." He smiled sadly.

"Fine, I will go without fighting you." Kailasa said.

"You will take Captain Jones' ship to the North and ride from there."

"Can't wait." Kailasa sighed. "I will make sure a raven is sent when I get there."

"I love you, dearest daughter."

"As I love you." And she did, but she knew her father didn't love her enough to stay.

XXX

"Lady Kailasa of house Merrin will be staying with us." Lord Stark announced to his family at sup one night. "I have just received a raven from her father."

"Is this your doing or Lord Merrin's?" Lady Stark asked. She had heard her husband mention the family often, but not much about the only daughter of said family.

"I sent word after I heard of her tour through Westeros." He stated. "I guess we were always on the list since I got such a quick reply. Her father knows there are three eligible men here for her."

"Three?" Lady Stark asked.

"Robb, Theon, and Jon." Lord Stark told her, noticing how Jon's eyes widened a bit as he said this. "Apparently this family does not care for status. She has lands to herself on the Coast."

"Is it true what they say about her?" Theon asked.

"It depends on what you have heard." Lord Stark stated. "I have never met her. I only know her father from the war."

"Did she captain a ship when she was fifteen?" Arya asked. Kailasa had been somewhat of a legend throughout Westeros in the last couple years. If it was her beauty or if it was her actions that caused her to become a myth was unknown.

"You will see for yourself soon enough." Lord Stark told his youngest daughter before turning to the three boys. "I will warn all of you that she has rejected every lord that has asked for her hand before. Her father promised her a true marriage, and he warned me that she will not have anything less. I thought I would pass this on to you.'

"Get her to fall in love with me." Theon cracked his knuckles. "That shouldn't be a challenge."

XXX

Kailasa sat on the bow of the ship, a rope tied around her waist in case she fell off she would be able to easily brought back onboard. Captain Jones knew that she wouldn't fall off. He had known her since before he became a captain. He even served as her boatswain for the journey they made the year before on this very ship.

But it was a beautiful day so far. Her silver blonde hair was tired back into braids that were spun into a wheel on the back of her head. She did it herself, she had to. She had no maids when she was on her journey to get the medicine that could have saved her mother's life. That would have saved her mother's life if they had gotten back in time.

Now, she only travelled with Elena, her handmaiden, and Rebecca, her nurse from Volantis, who was trained in many different medicines. Ser Martin, was only there to escort her from one place to the next safely, though she knew it was more for the other's than herself. She knew how to defend herself. Her brother taught her as she grew up.

"Don't look so sad." Emma said, coming up behind her. She was Captain Jones' wife, and was the nurse on the ship, though if she wanted to, Kailasa was sure she could captain it. She had golden blonde hair hand hazel eyes. She was an orphan, which was how she met her husband; they were in the same orphanage growing up.

"Why shouldn't I look sad?" Kailasa asked, turning her head to speak over her shoulder as she straddled the bow. It was a good thing she wore trousers and a shirt. The only thing that kept her femininity besides her figure was a leather corset she wore on the outside of the man's shirt she wore. "My father can't stand to be around me because I look too much like my mother."

"You don't look that much like your mother." Emma told her. "She was gold, you're silver."

Kailasa slipped back, and jumped onto the deck before Emma. "I don't want to get married to some lord. I have had too many of them grab my ass in the last year. I'm done with them staring at my breasts and I'm done with them thinking that I am desperate for a husband because my father sees the need for me to have one."

"Your father just wants you to be taken care of." Emma told her. "There are worst things out there."

"I can take care of myself." Kailasa replied. "Can he not see that?"

"He's your father. You're his daughter. His only daughter. He wants you to be taken care of, he doesn't care if you can take care of yourself. He thinks you shouldn't have to."

"Emma, I don't know if I could stand to be with someone for the rest of my life."

"That's what I thought." Emma told her. "And then I met him."

"You grew up together. It's not the same."

"It's exactly the same. Someday you will meet someone and it will hit you that you never want to part from them." Emma told her. "Just open yourself up to that."

"Love is pain, Emma." Kailasa said. "I don't want to be in pain anymore."

"Love is strength too." Emma replied. "Open yourself up to it."

"I'm not very good at opening myself up to anything." Kailasa replied, turning back towards the sea. "I am fine on my own. I always have been."

XXX

"What was the rumor you heard about the girl, Theon?" Robb asked him as they all were getting their hair cut and their beards shaved off. Lady Catelyn had demanded it. She seemed ready to have a summer wedding. Robb was sure that his mother wouldn't approve of whatever this rumor was.

Theon held his hands from his chest. "Giant tits, Robb."

Robb laughed. "Gods, I hope so. Have you seen Southern dresses? Much less than is worn here."

"I can't believe your mother is making us look pretty for this girl." Jon complained, wanting desperately to switch the subject. He wasn't going to have a chance with her anyway, so he didn't want to hear how beautiful she was. No one would want him when the next lord of Winterfell was in the running as well.

"Think about it this way, brother." Robb clapped him on the shoulder. "If you get her to fall in love with you, you become a lord."

Jon wasn't going to lie and say that he didn't always want to become a lord. But in his mind he always wanted Winterfell. Not somewhere that he had never been in a place much warmer than the North.

"But I will not win. Isn't that why your mother was so insistent that I clean up as well? I am no threat."He replied.

"We all know that I'm going to win, sorry lads, but she comes from a place on the sea. You inlanders have no chance." Theon told them.

"As soon as she falls in love with Winterfell she will fall in love with me." Robb replied. "And if she chooses me, then she can stay here."

The two boys looked at Jon.

"And what would she get if she chose you?" Theon asked.

"She would be able to get her lands in the South." Robb stated. "That's actually pretty good. You may win yet, if you can talk to her."

Jon rolled his eyes. "I have a tongue, you know. I obviously can speak."

"Yet we never see you around girls too often." Theon stated. "I wonder why."

Jon rolled his eyes again. "Shut it."

XXX

Kailasa approached Winterfell and almost gasped at the sight of it. It was a fortress. She grew up on the Coast where there were palaces, that were the color or cream or sand with red roofs near a beach with white sand and blue water. Winterfell was made of gray stone and looked like it had stood there for thousands of years. It looked dangerous. It looked like an adventure in building form.

"My lady, are you all right?" Ser Martin asked. He had dark grey hair with a matching thick beard. He had known Kailasa since she was born. He was given the task of delivering her to Winterfell safely before returning to her father. They would all leave besides Kailasa, her handmaiden and nurse. Captain Jones had the ship waiting for them.

"I am well." She told him. "Just a little surprised. I have heard of Winterfell, but I never thought it would be so..."

He grinned. "Yes. Quite the thing of storybooks, don't you think? Who knows, maybe the next time I see you, you will become the Lady of Winterfell."

Kailasa smiled though it didn't reach her eyes. "Thank you, Ser Martin. I will remember that when you drink too much wine and make bad jokes. I will be able to have you escorted to a room where you can sleep it off."

He let out a booming laugh. "I'd like to see you try, little lady!" He pressed his heels into his horse, getting him to go faster, leaving Kailasa behind. She quickly followed, truly laughing as she did.


	2. Chapter 2

The Starks were surprised when she didn't arrive in a carriage, but Arya was more impressed than anything. She never wanted to be in a carriage when she left Winterfell. But it wasn't ladylike to be on horseback. Kailasa looked like a vision in her violet gown that seemed to fly around her in the wind. Her blonde hair was braided back from her face in four braids that turned to one on the back of her head. She looked over everyone before jumping off her horse and landing gracefully on the ground. She was a short girl. She would only make it to Jon or Robb's shoulder if she stood next to them.

Kailasa bowed, with one hand and foot extended. She didn't curtsy like all other ladies. She bowed.

Lord Stark stepped forward and kissed her hand. "You are very welcome here, Lady Kailasa."He told her.

"Thank you, Lord Stark." She said, rising before looking to his wife. "Lady Stark." She bowed slightly.

Catelyn curtsied. "Lady Kailasa."

"This is my son, Robb." Lord Stark stated, gesturing to an auburn haired man with bright blue eyes. He bowed. "My lady."

Kailasa bowed her head. "My lord." She smiled.

"This is my eldest daughter, Sansa." Sansa curtsied.

"My middle son, Bran." Bran bowed.

"My youngest daughter, Arya." She curtsied (badly). "Did you really captain a ship when you were fifteen?"

"Arya!" Lady Stark reprimanded, but Kailasa just laughed.

"Yes, I did. Perhaps I will tell you the story behind it later." Kailasa told her kindly.

Just when Arya didn't think that she could like this girl more, she did. "Thank you, Lady Kailasa."

"Just call me Kai." She told them all. "Everyone calls be Kai at home."

"You will meet the others at dinner." Lord Stark told her.

Ser Martin stood beside Kailasa. "We should get going, my lady. Your father wanted us back as soon as we could."

"Have a safe journey, dear ser." Kailasa told him, as he dropped a kiss on her cheek.

Her party besides her handmaiden and nurse left the courtyard.

"Would you like to rest?" Lord Stark asked her. "You must have had a long journey."

Kailasa nodded. "That would be kind."

"Robb," Lady Stark called. "Why don't you show her to her room?"

Robb stepped forward, smiling, holding out his arm for her to take. "Lady Kai."

"Kai." She corrected as she took his arm and they began walking for the castle. "Please call me Kai."

"Then you must call me Robb." He stated.

"Robb." She said, looking over her shoulder and seeing two finely dressed men. One had sandy brown hair and the other black in tight curls, and looked like a younger version of Lord Stark. If she had to guess she knew that it was Theon Greyjoy and Jon Snow. The Greyjoy book was grinning, but Jon Snow was very stoic. He looked like he hardly smiled.

"Have you ever been North?" Robb asked her as they entered the castle, regaining her attention.

She shook her head slightly. "No. I have never been north of the Riverlands." She told him. "I am a child of warmth. I don't ever remember it not being warm enough to swim. Have you ever been South?"

Robb shook his head. "Not that I can remember." He answered. "It seems we have much to learn from each other."

"Yes, you must teach me all about the North, and I must teach you all about the South." Kailasa agreed. She paused before speaking again as they took another turn. "I will surely get lost here."

"Then I shall have to escort you everywhere." He decided, teasing lightly. "We cannot have our honored guest be lost."

Kailasa laughed. "Why thank you, my lord, you are much too kind to me."She was rather impressed that he hadn't asked her when she would choose him to be her husband. Most other lordlings were so full of themselves, they thought that obviously the lady of the coast would choose them. This was much nicer.

"If I didn't I'm sure Arya would." He told her. "She is excited to see a girl like her. How did you learn how to fight?"

"How do you know I can?" Kailasa replied.

"There was a bow and a sheath of arrows on your saddle as well as a dagger." He told her. "I am not blind. You wouldn't carry them unless you knew how to use them."

"True." She agreed. "Well, I am happy to find a girl like me as well. It seems we are a rare breed."

"You still have not answered my question, though." Robb told her. "Why?"

Kailasa sighed. "Growing up I only knew my elder brother. He is much older than me. My mother was ill most of my childhood, so he was what I had. My father was mostly with my mother or doing his duty to his people. My brother was like my father. After my lessons with my septa, I went with him. He taught me to fight. It didn't even change when he got married. He made sure that there was always someone to teach me."

"So will you be in the yard with us tomorrow?" He asked.

Kailasa laughed. "I hope so, though I will probably watch before I take part."She paused. "You do not think there is something wrong with a woman fighting?"

"Of course not." Robb told her. "Trust me, everyone has learned not to get on Arya's bad side. She may be small, but she is quick."

Kailasa laughed again. "She seems like a nice girl. Reminds me of myself at her age. And your other younger sister? Sansa, was it?"

"She is a proper lady." Robb told her. "I have to say, I think she would not approve of women fighting."

"And where's the fun in all of that?" Kailasa asked. "I do not need a man to fight for me."

"You need a man to fight against you apparently." Robb stated.

"See, now you're getting it." Kailasa teased.

XXX

Kailasa relaxed in the bath that was drawn for her before she went to sup. Her nurse came in with a vial of vile liquid for Kailasa to swallow. The older woman had always cared for Kailasa since she was a small girl, even more so when her ailment became obvious.

"Milady, your medicine." She said handing the girl the vial.

Kailasa frowned before downing it in one gulp and grimacing. "Tell me again why I don't succumb to my ailment." She said before laying back into her bath.

"Because the pain will get you in the end." The older woman stated, putting the empty vial in the pocket of her apron. She started to massage Kailasa's shoulders.

"Gods," Kailasa moaned, letting her head fall back. She could feel her muscles relaxing under her nurse's touch.

Her nurse laughed quietly. "Dearest, I will do what I can to ease your pain, but this treatment will make it easier for you to conceive a child when you are married. We both know it is unlikely otherwise."

Kailasa let out a breath. "I know. I know."

XXX

Kailasa dressed in a dress Meara had given her from Dorne. It was red-gold color, and was two pieces. The top was low cut, and tied around the smallest point of her waist. The skirt was many layers of sheer material. She looked like silver and gold when she wore this. Her silver hair was pulled back with a metal band with crystals in her hair before it was tied into a braided bun on the back of her head.

Kailasa quickly figured out that she would have to get a heavier cloak or warmer dresses if she was to stay in the North for long, but knowing how things usually went, she wouldn't be here for more than a month. When Captain Jones came to get her, she would convince him to take her to Dorne. Callum and Meara would always want her even if her father didn't.

As Kailasa slipped on her gold slippers her nurse fussed over her.

"Remember to keep your left shoulder high. Breathe in your areas. Try not to rub at your back."

"I have it." Kailasa said, tiredly. "I've been dealing with this for four years." She stood and dropped her mother's perfume on her wrists and neck before rubbing her wrists together. It was her mother's perfume before she died. Her cousin, Jaime sent a case of it to her after he heard of Katherine's passing. He sent a note with it telling her that Cersei loved having their mother's perfume after Joanna died. He was right. Kailasa wore it whenever she felt like she needed her mother's strength; she needed it everyday she wasn't at Goldenbirth.

There was a knock on the door; Robb had come to collect her for sup. Kailasa opened the door and curtsied like a good little lady. "Robb."

"Kai," he bowed.

"Have you come to collect me?" She asked as he held out his arm for her to take, which she did. "You are all much too kind to me. I shall be spoiled by the time I return home."

"That is our plan." Robb replied in jest. "Make it so you never want to leave."

"We shall see, Robb Stark, we shall see." She bumped her hip against his lightly.

XXX

At the table she met little Rickon Stark, who blushed when Kailasa called him a, "handsome little lord" and tried to hide behind his mother's skirts. She officially met Theon Greyjoy, who kissed her hand and winked at her. She met Jon Snow who didn't say much, and just bowed to her. He did look directly into her eyes, and only into her eyes, that impressed her. The look in his eyes made her think of an abused puppy, ready to be kicked again.

Kailasa always liked the sad puppies; they were always the sweetest when they realized you wouldn't hurt them.

As they ate their sup, Kailasa was interviewed by Arya.

"Why did you captain a ship?" The girl asked.

"Because no one else could in such short notice." Kailasa replied. "My brother is a better navigator than I, and I am much better at he is. It was a very quickly planned journey and we needed all the time we had."

"Why?" Arya asked.

"My mother was on her death bed. We heard a rumor of a medicine that would help her in the Free Cities and we left immediately." Kailasa's voice changed, becoming more like she was reciting a scene from a play. "We didn't make it back in time, but I learned a lot during that journey."

"Like?" Arya asked.

"Trusting your crew is key, one man thought it was wrong a woman was leading, and we left him in Mereen. Without leadership everything falls apart. But the best thing I learned is that if a man does not respect a woman, he does not deserve to be in the presence of one." Kailasa told her. "There is a reason why my words are respect like the sea. If you respect something, you deserve it."

XXX

"I would like to get some air." Kailasa stated after dinner.

"Can I come?" Arya asked.

"Of course." Kailasa said. "Anyone is welcome." She hoped that no one else would join, though.

"I think I could use some air." Robb said standing."

"Us too, right Jon?" Theon said, clapping Jon on the shoulder. "We don't want to be left out of this party."

Kailasa smiled, and realized she should not have added onto letting Arya come with her. She was hoping for a moment to be able to breathe. At least she did not have her corset on, that would make her want to gasp for air if she had it on.

Kailasa's arms covered each other as the cool air hit her. She wasn't used to the cold. She never had been. She couldn't even remember the last winter, she was such a small child during that.

"This is your summers, then?" Kailasa asked. "Rather cool, don't you think?"

"That's why it's called the North." Jon told her. It was the first time he spoke to her.

Kailasa laughed. "That is true, Jon." She agreed. "But have you ever felt a real summer? A summer where you can swim in the sea without being chilled? Where you have to carry a fan so you do not faint in the heat of the day?"

"No." All of them said at once.

"Too bad." Kailasa replied. "It's wonderful. Last year everyone who could turned to the water for relief from the heat."

"Are you a good swimmer, then?" Theon asked.

Kailasa nodded. "There's a reason why my family's sigil is a mermaid, Theon. It is myth that we are descended from them."

"You faint from the heat?" Jon asked.

"If you do not drink enough water even the strongest of men faint from the heat." Kailasa replied. "Though I have been a victim of it. My family teases me for it." She shouldn't have let that slip; it was a side effect from her condition. No one could put the pieces together; no one ever did.

"I would like to catch you if you fainted." Theon stated.

Kailasa laughed. "I doubt you will see me faint, it is much too cold here, Theon, and it doesn't happen as often as you'd think." She looked away from them, and up to the stars. She raised her thumb in the air to make sure the moon was still smaller than her thumb. Her brother told her that no matter where she would go, the moon would always be the same size. It made her feel like she was closer to home than she was.

"What are you doing?" Arya asked.

"No matter where you go the moon is never bigger than your thumb." Kailasa told her.

"Do you do that everywhere you go?" Robb asked.

Kailasa nodded. "Yes. It makes me feel a little closer to home." She let her thumb fall. She knew she wasn't close to home. She doubted she would be home again for a long time. The only way to get home was to get married, and she didn't want to be married for no better reason than wanting to go home.

Kailasa looked to see Jon trying out her thumb trick, and she took two steps over to him and held her thumb next to his with one hand on his shoulder. She could tell he was hyperaware of how close she was to him, though she remained at ease. Actually, she seemed more at ease now than she had with any women around. Jon noticed that as well.

The two other boys quickly held their thumbs up, hoping to get the same attention Kailasa had given Jon. Kailasa knew this game and she would have none of it.

She stepped away from Jon and let her arms wrap around herself again.

"You learn something new every day." Jon said.

Kailasa turned to him. "You are much more talkative out her than you were inside, Jon. What has changed?"

"I do not know, Lady Kailasa."

"Call me, Kai." She said quickly. "And, oh, I think you do, but you do not wish to tell me. As you wish, I will drop the subject."

"Then I will change it." Jon stated. "You are more comfortable out here than inside, why?"

Kailasa laughed. "You are very observant, Jon. Perhaps I will save my answer for when you are willing to answer my question."

"Arya," Lady Stark cried from the doorway. "It is time for you to be off to bed."

Arya had been watching the four teenagers like they were a play. "Five more minutes?"

"Now, Arya."

Arya sighed. "Fine." She walked towards the door.

"Are you forgetting something?" Jon called after her.

Arya suddenly turned and ran to Jon, jumping to wrap her arms around his neck. He hugged her tightly, keeping her feet off the ground before he put her back down and she resumed walking back to the door.

Jon looked up to see Kailasa smiling. "What?"

She shook her head. "It just reminds me of my brother and I when I was growing up." She told him.

Jon didn't reply, he just looked at her with his eyebrows furrowed.

Kailasa sighed, looking away from his grey eyes. "I think I will be off to bed as well, it has been a very long day."

"I'll escort you." Robb said, holding out his arm for her. "You know, so you don't get lost." He winked at her conspiratorially.

Kailasa laughed softly, taking his arm. "Yes, that would be good. I would hate to have to sleep in a corridor."

**A/N: **

**daneegirl92: You caught onto that, didn't you? Haha. I couldn't resist. At first it happened without me meaning to, and I just went "what the hell" and continued with it. Thank you for your review!**

**Charlmalone: Thank you! Thank you for your review!**

**M00NBunnie K: Thank you, and thank you for your review!**

**Please review!**

**Kat**


	3. Chapter 3

Kailasa watched as the boys practiced with their swords. Bran was learning the words of all the great houses is Westeros so he wasn't outside with them. Kailasa wore men's clothing, though it looked very feminine on her, especially with her corset on. Her silver hair was braided back into a ponytail on the back of her hair, and bound with a leather strap before going into a thick rope of a braid and bound again with leather. She looked like a warrior.

Theon and Robb were practicing with swords. That was never a weapon Kailasa never felt too comfortable with. Jon was with a bow and arrow; her weapon of choice. She wandered over to him, and appeared right over his shoulder.

"Are you usually on your own, or do you all take turns and today is your day of solitude?" Kailasa asked, making him jump and miss the target completely.

"Has anyone told you that you walk like a cat?" He asked, turning towards her.

Kailasa laughed. "Perfect, then my opponent will never know when I am coming his way."

"How do you know it will be a man attacking you? Why can't it be a woman?"

"Most women fight with words." Kailasa replied. "That game is all too different from physical fighting."

"And how did you get so smart?" Jon asked. "You have never been in court."

"And how do you know that, Jon Snow?" She asked. "Now take your shot again."

He sighed before doing as she said, when he was about to let the arrow fly, Kailasa stopped him.

"Humor me." She said softly, her voice right behind his left ear. Kailasa's soft yet cold fingers touched his warm hand that held the arrow. "Use your mouth as an anchor."

He touched his hand to his mouth, making her thumb touch his lips as well.

"Elbow down." She whispered.

He did as she ask.

"Take the shot." She whispered.

He let the arrow fly, hitting directly in the center of the target.

"Good job," she said taking a step away. "Now try that again, but another ten paces away from the target."

He gave her a slightly confused look. "And how did you become so good at archery?"

She smiled. "When I was growing up all I had was my brother. After my lessons with my septa I would go outside and he would teach me what he wanted to do. He wanted a little brother, but instead he got me, and being me, I wanted to make him happy."

"Like you could be a disappointment."

Kailasa smiled. He he really have no idea how big of a disappointment that she could be? That she is?

"Girls cannot be lords. My father wanted an heir and a spare. My brother wanted a little brother. They got me instead. There are many ways I could be a disappointment."

"Then be happy to know that here you are not. Even Lady Stark likes you after you told Arya that lessons with her septa were important." Jon told her.

Kailasa licked the right corner of her lips-a nervous habit. "Lessons are important. Learning is important. She will understand when she is older. I always loved learning when I was her age." She shrugged slightly. "Either way, I like being liked."

"Then why have you rejected every man that has asked for your hand?"

"Would you marry someone you just met?" Kailasa asked. "Everywhere I went they just assumed that I would marry anyone. I barely stayed a night or said two words and they asked my father's permission for the match. I am never going to marry someone I just met."

"Is that a message for me to pass on to my brother?" Jon asked.

"No. Keep it to yourself for all I care." Kailasa said. "It makes no difference to me."

Jon looked at her peculiarly. He did not understand her at all, if anything he was confused by here. Why was she standing over here with him when she could be with either of the lords?

"Don't look at me like I have three heads." She told him, her eyes flicking over his face. "Would you like me to leave, or...?"

"Or?" He asked.

"Do you want to have a shooting match?" She asked him. "You against me. We can see who wins."

"You're on."

Kailasa got her bow and arrows, and they stood in front of the targets as she put on her leather arm guard.

"What do you want to shoot?" She asked him. "You can decide the challenge."

"What if I make it too hard for you?" Jon asked.

"As if you could." She scoffed.

"Where the color changes on the target." He said. "Anywhere along those lines as long as it's between the colors, and then directly in the center."

Kailasa nodded. This would be easy for her.

So they shot, taking turns. Kailasa learned with taking a breath before letting each arrow fly. It was calming. It reminded her that it was just her and how bow. She knew she would hit the target, it was almost too easy.

Until she reached the last shot, the bulls eye. When she took the shot, she breathed wrong. A part of her could feel it coming. One wrong breath and pain shot through her like a knife was inserted between her ribs. It still shocked her enough to make her release the string, but she had barely had drawn her bow when she released it. The arrow flopped to the ground. She knew she lost with that shot.

"Are you okay?" Jon asked, taking the two steps quickly over to her and touching her back as she leaned backwards slightly. He had seen the pain flash in her blue eyes.

"I'm fine." She told him, though her voice sounded constricted. If she took anything but a very shallow breath she knew she would feel the pain again. "I'm fine."

"You don't look fine." He replied.

"I'm just sore from the ride yesterday." A half truth. She was sore, but that wasn't the problem. "Nothing to worry about, my lord."

"I'm not a lord."

She shook her head as she took a shallow breath; any deeper and she would feel the knife between her ribs. "Sorry." She looked at the target. "It looks like you won." She smiled, though it didn't reach her eyes. "Well done. Perhaps you should teach me how to shoot."

"Retake the shot." He told her.

She shook her head, still smiling. "No. You won fairly."

"Go on, shoot again." He replied.

"It's not fair. We took the same amount of shots. You win." She stated stubbornly.

Jon gave her the same confused look.

"Whatever you say, my lady." He replied.

"Kai." She replied, before looking down. "I'm sorry I bothered you, I'll leave you alone now." She walked away.

"You weren't bothering me." He said softly, but she was already too far away.

XXX

Kailasa laid naked on her bed as her nurse laid cold wet towels on her back.

"I was hoping for snow." Her nurse had told her. "But this will have to do until some comes this way. It shouldn't be too long. The North is known for it's summer snows."

"It feels good." Kailasa whispered, though she flinched away from the wet cloth when it was first placed onto her back.

"I saw you with the bastard this morning." Her nurse told her. "Why were you not with the heir to Winterfell?"

"Because he was busy." Kailasa said softly. "It's also partially because it must have been hard growing up being raised here as a bastard."

"Why do you say that?"

"Thunderstorms for one." Kailasa said. "I crawled into bed with my parents when I was frightened. Jon had no one. He grew up with no mother to hold him when he cried, and that breaks my heart. Every child deserves the love of a mother."

"Are you are pushing your feeling about your mother onto him?" She asked.

"I don't know." Kailassa answered honestly. "But he just looks so sad all the time. I've only seen him smile once. Once. Do you know how sad that is?"

"Not everyone smiles as much as you do." Her nurse told her. "You always smile."

"No one likes a woman who is always upset." Kailasa said softly. It was something her father and brother always told her when she was upset. Put on a good face. No one wants to hear about your woes. No one cares. "Smiling is the opposite of being upset. It shows ease and happiness."

"You do not have to be happy all the time." Her nurse told her.

"No one else is willing to be the happy one. Someone has to be the light in the darkness."

"And who will be your light?"

"I don't need one." She answered. "The darkness does not frighten me."

XXX

A package was sent to Winterfell for Kailasa. She opened in when she was in her room, eager to see who it was from. It was from her brother.

_I thought you would need something to keep you warm. I'm sorry you can't come to Dorne. I miss my little sister. Just get married and then you can have Silversheet and come to Dorne whenever you like. Meara misses you. The children miss you._

_How is everything going over there? Has the next lord of Winterfell stolen your heart? Father does want you to marry him, but you probably already know that. I honestly think he just wants you to get married so you will be married. If not, there is always talk of marrying you to Joffery. We both know what a cunt that one is. I think you would even marry Tyrion before him. But if you marry Joffery, you would be queen one day. That is an upside._

_Send a raven soon._

_Callum_

Kailasa smiled at that and opened up the rest of the package to find a white fox fur cloak. It was beautiful, and would keep her very warm. She picked it up, and it almost felt warm to the touch. Or maybe that was her cold hands finding anything slightly warm.

"Is that from Master Callum?" Her nurse asked as she laid out a dress for Kailasa to wear. It was a light blue dress, that was so flowing that it looked like she was wearing water. Or ice. She would wear her corset with it, making it hard for her to eat or breathe.

"Yes, a cloak for the cold." Kailasa said, hugging the cloak to her.

"Your brother is very good to you." She stated. "I remember when you were young and he would place your playthings around you when you fell asleep on the floor. He refused to let any boys near you."

Kailasa nodded. "He always wanted to protect me." She whispered. "Meara and the children miss me. I miss them too."

"You love children, my lady, you always like being around them." She said.

"Which will make it sadder when I cannot have them." Kailasa sighed.

"We do not know that, my lady. You could be very fertile, but we just don't know yet. Thank the gods." She looked up, as if she could see the gods on the ceiling of the room.

Kailasa didn't know if she believed in the deities or not. They had not given her anything put heartache and pain in the past. If she did still believe in them, she did not believe they were there to help people such as herself. They were there to watch as people destructed.

"I guess it is time to get dress." Kailasa said, standing.

"That it is."

XXX

Kailasa laid by the pond. For the North, it was a very warm afternoon, though in the shade it did feel a little chilly. Kailasa craved the sun. She craved the heat on her skin, bringing out the slightly yellow shades in her hair with its rays. She had gone out there for some time to be by herself. She was all alone there on the soft grass with nothing but the sound of the water lapping against stones and the cool breeze in the leaves of the trees.

She unlaced some of her dress to push down her sleeves, letting her arms and chest show besides what was hidden underneath her corset. She didn't care if her skin would tan, it never made much of a difference in her skin tone before. She thought of her home as she laid there. It had barely been more than a week since she arrived at Winterfell, and just over a month since she had seen her home. She dozed in and out of consciousness, dreaming of something she couldn't remember besides the color gray. She remembered that.

Jon saw her form on the grass. One arm on her stomach and the other above her head. She wore a lavender gown pulled down enough so he could see the light pink corset that pushed her breasts up to make them more pronounced. She looked like she was asleep.

"There she is." Arya said, pulling him forward by his wrist. For a moment Jon had forgotten she was there with him.

"She's indecent, Arya." Jon replied, grabbing her arm so she wouldn't run forward towards the Southern visitor.

"I'm a girl. It's nothing I haven't seen before."

"Trust me, Arya, it's much larger than you've ever seen before." Jon muttered under his breasts.

"You mean her tits?"

"Don't use that word."

"Why? I've heard you, Robb, and Theon using it." Arya replied.

"Yes, but-" Jon let out a frustrated sound. "Never mind."

"So...are you going to let me wake her up or would you rather?" Arya challenged.

Jon frowned, pausing only a moment before responding. "You go wake her up." A part of him wanted to go himself, but his honor was what stopped him.

Kailasa woke up the moment Arya touched her shoulder, sitting straight up. "Did I fall asleep?"

"Yes, you did." Arya told her. "We were just looking for you, I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all." Kailasa shook her head, trying to get her dreams out of her head. "How was your lessons?"

"Boring." Arya told her, kneeling beside her. "What did you do?"

"Sent a raven to Dorne. A bit of archery. Read for a bit." She looked up to the sun, which was not making its descent in the sky. "I'm afraid the sun was calling to me."

"If you tie your dress back up, Jon will come join us." Arya told her, gesturing to Kailasa's dress.

She laughed, and looked over her shoulder. "Do I make you uncomfortable, Jon?" She didn't particularly care if he saw her in her corset, she came from a world where everyone would swim in the sea when it was hot out, no matter what status they had. But, she still tied up her dress the best she could and stuffed the lacings in her cleavage.

"Not at all." He said as he reached them.

"I thank you for letting me get dressed." She told him. "I know you Northerners are not so used to so much skin being shown. I am sure many others would walk over here and not care if I was properly dressed or not."

Jon nodded, looking to the ground. "You are very welcome."

"Please, sit." She patted the grass beside her, smiling brightly. "What did you do with your afternoon after I left the castle? Apparently Arya's lessons were boring, and I didn't do anything with my life. How about you, Jon? Are you accomplished?"

"I would like to think so." Jon stated.

Kailasa leaned towards Arya. "Your brother is being vague with us. What is the best response to that?"

"You could always ask."

"But I just did and he did not answer." Kailasa replied.

"You could not reply."

"Again, not something I enjoy doing." Kailasa frowned.

"Are you always like this?" Jon asked.

Kailasa looked up at him, smiling. "Always like what?"

"Like..." He seemed to struggle with his words for a moment, so instead he just waved his hands towards her. "Like this."

"Maybe it's just who I am." Kailasa replied. "I am unwilling to change it. I challenge anyone to try to. Does it bother you?"

"I don't know." Jon told her honestly. "I am certainly not used to it."

Kailasa's smile reached her eyes. "Good. I like when people are not used to me."

"Do you like wearing dresses?" Arya asked, wanted to remain in the conversation with the blonde girl.

Kailasa nodded. "Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don't. It depends how I feel at the time."

"But you shoot arrows and can fight, but you are still called a lady. Do you want to be a lady or a knight?"

"I don't feel the need to choose." Kailasa told her honestly. "Lords can fight without giving up their lordship, I don't see why a lady should be any different. If I ever found the need to fight, I would without a second thought. Until then, I am a lady. I like wearing my dresses and having hair that goes down to my waist. I like being seen as weak by men and having it come back to hurt them when they realize I'm not. Recently it's been happing quite a bit, and Arya, the look on someone's face when they realize they are unable to control you is the most amazing thing you will ever see."

Arya looked a little confused. "So you want to be a lady and a knight?"

"I would prefer the term, 'warrior.'" Kailasa said. "I would prefer being called 'lady' before my name than, 'ser.'"

"Can you do that?" Arya asked.

"If they try to stop me I will go to Dorne. There are more freedoms there." Kailasa said. "I have been blessed with a free life, and I plan to keep it, Arya."

"Is that why you are still unmarried?" Arya asked. "Sansa said you have been of marrying age for many years now."

Kailasa closed her eyes and smiled.

"You don't have to answer her." Jon told her, but when she opened her eyes, he looked like he did want to know.

"Are you scared to hear something you don't like?" Kailasa asked.

Jon rolled his eyes. "I'm not scared."

"Then I shall answer." Kailasa replied, turning back to Arya. "I am not married because I am unwilling to give up my freedom. I am not willing to marry someone that does not love me, or will not allow me to remain free. Every lord I have ever met has wanted a good little wife and give them heirs. I don't want to be just that. I am my own person, even if people do not want me to be."

"Even my brothers and Theon?" Arya asked.

Kailasa paused. "To be completely honest with you, I don't know. I've only been here a week and I haven't been told to sit down and shut up yet, but I've been taught to think the worst of people."

"What do you mean by that?" Jon asked.

Kailasa smiled sadly. "Oh, Jon. Shouldn't you understand expecting the worst from someone more than anyone else?"

"What?" Arya asked.

Kailasa sighed. "Nothing, Arya." She said softly, not taking her eyes off Jon's.

**A/N:**

**danceegirl92: Again, thank you for telling me about that! Thank you for your review!**

**Finlee: Thank you! Thank you for your review!**

**xxxRena: Thank you! Thank you for your review!**

**Please review!**

**Kat**


	4. Chapter 4

"I don't get her." Jon told Robb as they saw Kailasa playing with little Rickon the next day, picking him up and swinging him around, or letting him ride on her back as they ventured away from the castle.

"Why?"

"She acts like she doesn't want to be married though she is obviously here for that reason. She can act like a woman one moment and then a man the next. She answers some questions completely and skirts around others. She's just...odd."

"Odd or different, brother?" Robb asked, grinning. "You like her."

"Really?" Jon replied, not looking amused.

"All right, intrigued by her at least. Don't deny it. I am too."

"Except there is no doubt of you marrying her if you want to." Jon replied.

Robb weighed his head back and forth. "I wouldn't be so sure. She's made it very clear she doesn't care for status."

"Are you trying to talk me into asking to court her?" Jon asked.

"Seven hells, no. I hope she chooses me and only me. She is very fun to be around." Robb told him. "You haven't seen her shoot have you? Pretend you're not very good and she will help you. She is rather good."

"I have." Jon told him. "She actually helped me with a shot."

Robb raised his eyebrows. "Her hands are cold, aren't they?"

"Yeah." He nodded without thinking. "Wait, what?"

Robb laughed, elbowing his brother. "But we're Northmen, right? The cold doesn't bother us."

"She's in pain." Jon told him.

"Of course she is. Her mother hasn't been dead a year and she couldn't save her in time and hasn't been home since."

Jon shook his head. "Not like that. Physically. Haven't you noticed?"

"No. Don't you think that if she was in pain she would tell us?" Robb stated. "We'd take care of her."

"She doesn't trust us, Robb." Jon told his brother. "Any of us. Don't try to convince yourself she's completely honest with you. She's not honest with anyone."

"Don't you think you should give her more credit than that?"

"She told me herself that she has learned to think the worst of people." Jon replied.

Robb gestured to the small figures of Kailasa and Rickon. "And you think she is some bad person? She has not said a word against anyone."

"I do not think she is a bad person." Jon replied. "I think she is hiding something."

"And it is hers to remain hidden." Robb told him harshly. "It is not for us to dig up. She will tell us in time."

"I am not trying to demean her. I am trying to understand her."

"Is she that foreign to you?" Robb asked. "She's a grown up Arya. Maybe more beautiful and Southern."

"She's not, though." Jon told him. "She's different. Speak to her about what she wants in life, and you will see how different she is. She is uncomfortable showing weakness or emotions that she does not trust us with. She's strong, but I don't think it's because she chooses to be. I think she's so frightened by everything that she pretends she is never scared to keep the upper hand."

Robb stared at his brother for a moment. "You really like her."

"I do not."

"Jon, don't lie. You never pay that much attention to anyone." Robb told him. "I don't even care what you say. You like her. Not that I'm going to back down-I'm not that nice-but good for you. Maybe you'll find another girl when I snag this one away from you."

"She's not going to marry anyone unless she wants to." Jon told him. "She wants someone who loves her, and who she loves in return. She wants something from a fairytale her nurse told her as a child."

"Even if you are unwilling to give her what she wants doesn't mean I am. She deserves to be loved, don't you think? Look at her with Rickon. She would be a good mother." Robb replied.

"She wants to be more than a mother." Jon told him. "She doesn't want that to define her."

"And how do you know that? Did she tell you."

"I do the same as you, brother, I look at her. Does she look like she just wants to be someone's little wife?" Jon asked, using the words that had been stuck in his head since Kailasa had said them. She knew she was meant for more than that, and she would have it.

XXX

A mixture of ice and water began falling on Rickon and Kailasa as they were out. Kailasa immediately used her cloak to shield Rickon from the water and ice, but it left her out in the cold. She knew she would become ill, and she didn't care. Rickon was young still, he would be more effected by a fever than she would be.

When they arrived at the castle, they were both taken to be warmed up and given hot baths. Kailasa couldn't even touch the warm water until it cooled to room temperature. She told her nurse that her skin was like fire. Her skin stayed cold for a long time after she got out of her bath. She laid in bed with the covers snuggled around her.

Her nurse knew she had to go to the maester and get medicine for Kailasa to take when she woke up.

XXX

The brothers walked towards Kailasa's room the next morning when she didn't not appear to break fast.

Her nurse answered the door. She was very protective of Kailasa, and only opened the door enough for them to see her, and not behind her to Kailasa who was still sound asleep in her bed. She did not bow to them, if anything she sized them up and paused before speaking.

"Kailasa is ill and sleeping at the moment."

"Can we just see her for a moment?" Jon asked.

"I will ask her when she awakes." Kailasa's nurse told him, eyeing him like she didn't trust him. Like he had no right to ask to see Kailasa.

"Is there anything I can send up?" Jon asked.

"Should I get maester Luwin?" Robb asked.

"Lord Stark already sent him last night." The nurse said. "I have everything I need to care for her. Lady Kailasa needs her rest." She ignored Jon's question.

"We will leave you then." Robb said, having to drag Jon away. "I guess I will tell Arya her little blonde friend is under the weather." He looked at his brother. "What?"

"She got ill so easily."

"What's going on in your head, Snow?" Robb asked.

"Nothing."

"It doesn't seem like nothing." Robb replied. "It's really too bad her nurse is so protective of her.

"There's something different about her."

"Obviously."

"No...I mean...I don't even know what I mean."

"I'll just leave you to your thoughts, then." Robb rolled his eyes.

XXX

Kailasa's nurse closed the door.

"Who was it?" Kailasa whispered, her voice a little rough.

"Robb and the bastard of Winterfell."

"Jon." Kailasa corrected. "His name is Jon, Rebecca."

"I don't see why you're letting him court you."

"You read the letter I sent to father?" Kailasa wasn't surprised.

"I glanced over it."

"I love you, Rebecca, but this is my life and these are my choices. It's just a response anyway. They ask, I answer." Kailasa told her. "I said yes to Robb too."

"But not the Greyjoy."

"Father already took him off the table for me." Kailasa replied. "I would rather not have my husband have saltwives anyway."

"So you're-"

"I am not asking to be judged." Kailasa stated. "I am not asking you to judge them either. They are both kind and I have to apparently choose between them." She didn't sound too happy about that. "But I will be the one to live with my choices, not you."

"So you are going to marry one of them, then?"

"Seems like it with my father's letters." Kailasa said softly.

"What do you see in them?"

Kailasa cuddled her pillow on her side, resting her head on it. "Jon is honest and curious. He sees things other people don't. Robb is sweet and kind. I just want to get to know them more. I want to see how much they like me. If they come back, wake me. I would be happy to see if they still like me when I am not beautiful."

"As you wish my lady." Her nurse said, laying a hand on Kailasa's forehead to see if the fever was still there. She could tell that Kailasa's body was weak, but her tongue never would be. "You are always beautiful to me, Kailasa."

Kailasa hand caught Rebecca's and squeezed it weakly. "I love you, my dear nurse."

"As I love you, milady."

**A/N:**

**xxxRena: That's not going to be said for a while, but I am putting lots of hints in here. Thank you for your review!**

**ZabuzasGirl: Here you go!**

**Please Review!**

**Kat**


	5. Chapter 5

Bella's silver blonde hair was pulled into a french braid down her back to keep it away from her face. She slept with her breath whistling. She still looked beautiful when she was ill. Pale, but beautiful.

Jon's hand covered hers. He knew her hand would be cold. "Her hand is like ice." He stated, hoping to warm hers with his.

"Yet her head is on fire." Her nurse said. "Her body does not seem to cooperate."

"Rickon did not become ill." Jon mentioned, hoping to get some information from her.

"Lord Rickon was protected by my Kailasa's cloak." Her nurse replied, her voice passionate as she spoke of the sleeping girl. "She always puts other's ahead of herself, even if she knows that she will become ill because of it. She was soaked by the time she got to me. She thought my skin was on fire, and she felt like she was made of ice. She is not used to the weather here. She is a child of summer, not winter."

"Very true." Jon agreed, brushing a bit of Kailasa's hair that had escaped from her braid away from her neck, causing her head to lean towards him in her sleep. "Does she need anything?"

"Your maester already gave me everything I need, like I said earlier."

"May I ask what you have used?"

"Echinacea tincture and arnica oils." Her nurse told him honestly. "Are you sure you don't want me to wake her? She told me to if you or your brother came."

"No, she needs her rest. I just wanted to see that she was all right." He told her. "Thank you for letting me see her.

Rebecca nodded, watching as he leaned down to kiss the knuckles of the hand he had been holding in his own. Rebecca may have thought Kailasa was too good fro him, but she could admit that Kailasa could do much worse than him.

XXX

"Kailasa has accepted you both as suitors." Ned told his eldest sons.

"What?" Jon asked. "I didn't ask."

"I did on your behalf." Ned told him. "I may be old to you, Jon, but I see the way you look at her, I wasn't going to let you not ask because you were scared to be rejected."

"Can she allow two people to court her?" Robb asked.

"It's not marriage." Ned told him. "She just wants to get to know you both more. Her father added that this is the longest she has ever stayed in one place."

"What does that mean?" Robb asked, leaning forward.

"I don't know, but it can't mean anything bad."

XXX

"Arnica is used from bruises and other painful ailments of the muscles and bones." Maester Luwin told Jon when he asked, and that echoed in his head all day. That was not something used for illness. He knew it had to be for the same reason why her eyes only closed for a second when she suddenly felt a jolt of. Why her hand(s) would go to her lower back when she moved a certain way. When she would let out a breath and have her lips pucker in a small, "O".

Jon wanted to ask if she was all right. He wanted to make sure she was in pain, but he was unsure if she would answer. She always refused before, but he had never asked her when they were alone. He didn't know if she would be offended. But hadn't she answered offensive questions before? Why would this be different? Just because she always refused to admit she was in pain? Because she would always tell some lie he could see through. If he asked her point blank, she had to answer, didn't she? She would know that he figured her out, and whatever she was suffering from.

He was playing a card game with her as she recovered from her illness. The color was returning to her cheeks. She looked better than she did the day before.

"I win." She announced. Her voice was a little deeper and rougher. She showed her cards like he would think she was cheating. Like he was actually playing the game.

"May I ask you something that is potentially offensive to you?" He asked as she dealt them both cards again.

She looked up at him. "You've asked a few potentially offensive questions before. You may ask another if I ask you one, first."

He nodded. "I will agree to that. Ask away."

Kailasa paused like she was trying to figure out what wording would make it just right for her. Her little pink tongue darted out over the right corner of her lips before she spoke. "Lady Catelyn doesn't like you because you are not hers. I understand that. But I do not understand why she hates you so. She saw you grow up. How can she hate you because of who your father is?" He could tell by her eyes that she was completely confused by this. She could not understand Catelyn's reasoning behind the hatred at all.

Jon didn't know how to answer her. How could the truth offend him? But she did seem bothered by it. She loved children, and she couldn't fathom the logic behind hating one. Hating a child horrified her, he could see it in her stormy blue eyes.

"I'm a bastard that was brought into her house." Jon repeated what he had been told like a line from a play. "I have no right to be here."

Kailasa frowned, shaking her head and looking down as she placed her cards on her lap. Her eyes were a little watery. Jon didn't know what he had said that upset her. She swiped her index finger beneath her eyes and looked back at him, her face a bit more guarded than before.

"That tells me nothing." She told him, all emotion gone from her now. "I think you know why she hates you, but she has no right to hate you. You belong here. Do not let me hear you say otherwise."

"It is the truth." Jon answered. "Why should I not?"

"Because it makes you sound less human than Robb, or Bran, or Arya, or Sansa, or Rickon." She replied. "Do not put yourself down, Jon. There are enough people in this world to do that for you."

He looked at her a moment. "But I am not like them. I can never be."

"But you are not an inconvenience either. Your siblings love you. You are definitely Arya's favorite."

"The moment my father is dead his wife will not allow me to stay." He told her. "I will have no where to go."

"I would take you in." She told him. "You have friends, Jon. People to help you. You may not become a lord, but you could have a good life."

"It's the Watch for me, Kai."

"You're not a rapist or murderer." Kailasa told him. "That's what the Watch is full of. That's where we send our criminals. Even if you leave that part out you will never have a wife or child. You will never have a family of your own."

"And who would want a bastard's name?" Jon asked.

"You were given that name, I am sure you could change it if you wanted to." She replied. "Obviously I am not bothered by it. It may not be known, but my father does send a raven to me with the names of them men who would like to court me and I reply. I choose the people I am willing to get to know more about." Her voice was stronger than he had heard it in a while, almost challenging him to disagree with her.

Jon had no words. He just stared at her.

"Not all women care about surnames, or about riches or power." Kailasa covered his hand and hers. "I just people by what they say and what they do. Name are nothing more than what we try to live up to or try to forget. If someone judges you on your name, they do not deserve you, remember that."

"Your hand is cold." He whispered, covering her hand with his other one.

"That is normal for me." Kailasa told him. "I used to touch my brother's neck with them when he upset me." She smiled.

"You sound like Arya." Jon told her. "When it snows some always ends up down someone's shirt or dress.

"I am sure in another life I would be Arya." She laughed.

Suddenly, Jon forgot his potentially offensive question. He never realized who she was. He never realized that even though she didn't know him well, her heart still hurt for him.

"Why do you care that I am hated by Lady Stark?" He asked.

"Because I had a limited time with my mother, and in that time I always felt safe around her. Even when she was ill I knew she would protect me. When there was a great storm and I was frightened as a young child, I would crawl into bed with her and she would tell me a story to make me less frightened. When I accidentally cut myself trying to handle my brother's sword, she would dress the wound. She taught me to be kind and to try to understand where other people come from. To care for others. You did not have that privilege." Kailasa said softly. "I don't like how Lady Catelyn looks at you. My heart breaks every time she does." Kailasa closed her eyes then. "No one should be hated for their blood. No one."

Jon knew then that all this was true. She was uncomfortable with emotions because she felt everything so deeply that she did not know how to deal with it. Her mother taught her to be empathetic, and now she could not stop it, even if she wanted to.

XXX

After Jon left Kailasa, her nurse entered.

"I like him." Her nurse stated. "You were right, I judged him off his name. Her is much better than I thought."

Kailasa smiled. "I knew you would agree with me." She took a sip of tea to soothe her throat; it felt much worse after speaking.

"I wonder why Lord Robb didn't come with him."

"He probably didn't tell Robb. I doubt they both want to have to share my attention all the time." Kailasa responded. "If they both want to marry me they would want to see me when we are alone, don't you think?"

"Very true, milady." She paused. "So, which do you prefer?"

Kailasa shook her head. "I do not know. Both are very much gentlemen."

"And very handsome too."

Kailasa blushed slightly, looking down as she smiled. "Yes, there is that as well.

XXX

"How are you doing this fine day?" Robb asked when he came to visit Kailasa later that day. Unlike with Jon, they were not playing cards, they were just talking.

"I am better than before, yet not as good as I can get." She answered. "I will be back to normal in a couple days. Before you know it I'll be beautiful again."

"What are you talking about? You're gorgeous." Robb replied.

Kailasa smiled. "And you are much too kind to me, as I said, by the time I return home I will be spoiled rotten. They will never let me return again."

"Unless you decide to stay." Robb replied. "You can always do that."

Kailasa nodded. "True. This is the longest I have stayed in one place, you know."

"Yes, besides Goldenbirth, correct?" Robb asked. "What is it like there?"

Kailasa smiled, like she was going back to her childhood home. "It is right on the beach, where the water is blue and the sand is white. The castle itself is very beautiful. It's white like the sand, but has a red roof. It has high walls around it, and it is the biggest in the region. You can watch ships come in from their journeys and there is a market once a week where the traders sell their goods. My sister-in-law always took me when she could. There was always a man who sold Dornish wine, and he knew her, so we would buy one barrel and he would give us two." She sighed sadly. "It is wonderful there, and it's terrifying to think that I won't be returning there for a long time."

"Why not?" Robb asked.

"My father doesn't want me around." She told him. "I look too much like my mother."

"And here I thought you looked like a Targaryan."

"If there's Targaryan in me, it is very old. All I know is that there is Valaryan in me." She told him. "But no, I look like my mother, just silver instead of gold."

"And you were sent away right after your mother died?" He asked.

"No, at first I was just sent to Dorne to let my brother grieve alone. Then my father told me to go to the Reach, and stayed with the Tyrell's for a bit, and the Hightowers, and so on until Ser Martin came for me. Then the Riverlands. I am sure if I do not marry someone from the North I will be sent to see if Joffery could handle me."

"And you would be queen?"

"Seven hells, no." Kailasa shuddered. "I couldn't imagine being married to Joffery. He is not only so much younger than me, but he's...well...he's not exactly someone a woman would want to marry either. No. I have to guess that one of my cousins would let me stay with them until I can persuade my father to leave me be."

"And would you get married after that?" Robb asked. "If you got through that without being married."

"You mistake me, Robb. I am not against getting married. I am against getting married for political reasons. My parents married because they fell in love, their families allowed them to get married for political reasons. My brother and Meara married because they loved each other. I am only hoping for the same. None of them fell in love because they were sent to live in the same home. They fell in love by chance. No one could see it coming."

"You want something your nurse told you when you were young." He said.

"Is that so wrong?"

"No, it's exactly what you deserve." Robb stood from the chair beside her bed. "I will leave you to rest now. I would hate to not have you in the yard with us one day more than need be."

Kailasa smiled. "It is good to see you, Robb."

"You too, Kai." He leaned down to kiss her forehead. "Now get better."

"Yes, my lord." She teased.

**A/N:**

**xxxRena: That is sort of what I was hoping for! Haha. Thank you for your review!**

**ZabuzasGirl: Here you go! Thank you for your review!**

** .9: Thank you! Thank you for your review!**

**babiluv22: Here it is! Thank you for your review!**

**Please review! They make me really happy!**

**Kat**


	6. Chapter 6

It was another warm day in the North when Kailasa decided to lay in the sun one afternoon. A part of her didn't know if she was just getting used to the cold or if it was actually warm outside, and she didn't really care enough to ask anyone else if they thought it was warm outside. Kailasa persuaded Arya to join her at her favorite spot by the pond, but the girl did not seem to understand why it was so much fun to just lay in the sun.

It had been a week since Kailasa recovered, and she looked as healthy as ever.

"What shall we do?" The girl asked.

"Lay down. Doze. Talk." Kailasa shielded her eyes from the sun as she looked up at Arya who was standing above her. "Or you can run around the pond a few times to stop you from being so energetic."

"I'll do that." Arya said, before she began running from her.

"I was kidding." Kailasa called, but Arya didn't hear her. She closed her eyes again, and just tried to enjoy what little amount of sun she got between the waves of clouds moving in the sky.

"The sun suits you." A male voice said, blocking the sun from her skin.

"Then perhaps you should get out of it." She stated, patting the blanket beside her. "Lay down, enjoy the seconds of sun between the minutes of clouds with me."

He did as she asked, his arm touching hers lightly. She knew he was looking at the side of her face. She could feel his stare. "How are you this fine day? I take it you are back in perfect health?"

Kailasa laughed, a bitter edge in it. "I am completely back to normal." She said, turning towards him and opening one eye. "And you, Robb?"

"I am doing very well, thank you." He replied. "You love the sun, don't you?"

Kailasa nodded. "It pains me to think, as your family says, winter is coming."

Robb smiled. "Yes, those are our words. I know yours as well, respect like the sea."

Kailasa smiled and closed her eyes, turning her face back to the sun. "Do you want to know what my father told my brother when he was about to be married?"

Robb nodded before realizing that her eyes were closed and she could not see his nod. "Yes I would."

Kailasa smiled. "My father told him that women were like the sea. Dangerous. Beautiful. Strong. My family has always been good at marriages. As long as there is mutual respect it could turn to love. My father always told us that if we loved something, truly loved it, we should respect it like the sea."

"Your brother had an arranged marriage?"

Kailasa shook her head. "Heavens, no. But she was a princess of Dorne, and it was a good match."

Robb paused for a moment. "I agree with your father, women are dangerous."

"Personal experience or just a guess?"

"I'm sure many women can make men forget themselves, that is dangerous. You are very dangerous. You have been trained and I am sure you could kill anyone if you wanted to. You're beautiful enough to get anything you ever wanted from a man with the smarts to use what you get to destroy said man. I'm sure you could be queen if you wanted, but you don't. You're strong and I'm sure if anyone disrespected you, they would be the ones who would be embarrassed by the time you were finished with them."

Kailasa smiled. "You're right, I don't want to be queen."

"Then what do you want?" Robb asked.

"I have no idea." Kailasa said honestly. "I only know what I do not want."

"You are very odd, Kailasa."

"I know. Isn't it wonderful?" Kailasa turned her head towards him again to look at him. "Where is your brother?"

Robb knew which brother she was talking about. "He's looking for Arya."

"...She's with me."

"But he doesn't know that. He seems to be stealing quite a bit of your time lately, and I just wanted a bit to myself. Is that so wrong?" He asked.

"No, I guess not." Kailasa replied, smiling.

"So why has he been taking up so much of your time, lately?" He asked.

"We had a bit of a heart-to-heart." Kailasa told him.

"About?"

"Something between us." Kailasa told him. "I do not go telling stories, Robb. What kind of woman do you take me for?" She teased.

"I had to ask." Robb said.

"Theon doesn't seem to like me much." Kailasa said. "I haven't seen him much since I got better."

"He doesn't like being rejected."

"I have barely spoken two words to him and my father already told me he would approve of the match." Kailasa said. "Not that I disagree. I really would rather not have my husband have a saltwife."

"So then, why did you allow both Jon and I to court you?" Robb asked.

"I don't think I should tell you why I allowed Jon, but I will tell you why I said yes to you."

"All right. Why did you decide to let me?" Robb asked.

Kailasa turned her head slightly to look at him. "Because you are kind and have a good sense of humor. I would like to get to know you better before I make a potentially life changing decision. And I like you, what can I say? I'm a sucker for tall and handsome men." She pushed against him with her shoulder slightly.

"That's good to hear, even if I am against my brother." Robb replied.

"Now I will turn the question onto you." Kailasa replied. "Why did you ask my father's permission to court me?"

Robb paused. "To be honest with you I didn't think you would live up to your reputation." Robb admitted. "But you did. Beauty and all. You exceeded it. You fit well here; everyone likes you. You're passionate,-wolfblooded as my father calls it-you never take anything lying down. That's why I like you, and I believe I will love you soon enough."

"Good, because I think I could love you too, given a little more time."

"But at some point, and I'm not saying now, but at some point you will have to choose between us." Robb told her. "It's early on, so we won't make you choose yet, but it is coming."

"Just like winter?"

"Just like winter

XXX

Kailasa and Robb brought Arya back to the castle, picking her up by her hands and swinging her between the. They were all laughing as Lady Catelyn watched them return to the castle. In that moment she could see them ten years later with a child of their own between them. She could imagine their wedding with them standing in the water as their hands were bound and they said their vows.

Catelyn approved of Kailasa, even if she wasn't what a classic highborn lady should be. She was someone who could survive the North. She would challenge Robb in the best ways; she would make him become a better man. She would also be a good mother. She had seen Kailasa with Rickon, protecting him from the freezing rain without thinking of herself. She loved children, it was obvious.

Catelyn frowned when she saw Jon meet them in the courtyard. They seemed to speak for a moment, and she could tell that both of the boys seemed a little stressed, though the smile never left Kailasa's face.

Catelyn was sure that Robb and Kailasa would be married long before summer was over. They were a good match. The high lord of the Coast and the high lord of the North being united through their eldest daughter and son. It was always good to have strong allies.

They would have beautiful children as well, no matter if their child had silver blonde hair like their mother or auburn hair like their father. They would definitely have blue eyes, though, no matter if it was Tully blue or blue like the sea.

Kailasa had good hips for childbearing. She could give Robb all the children he would want, and if it was a good marriage, maybe even more.

But would Kailasa convince the young man to go to the South with her and claim the lands she was promised? Would she take her eldest son and not return for months? Years? Would Kailasa have that much power over Robb? Would Robb want to go to the South? Would he want to leave Winterfell?

Catelyn watched as Jon walked away with Arya, and Robb linked Kailasa's arm through his before leading her away, towards the entrance to the hot springs beneath Winterfell.

She knew Robb would go with her. He would want her to be happy, and it was obvious that she craved fire, not ice. No matter how much she looked like a queen of winter.

XXX

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Robb and Kailasa chanted as they arrived to sup late. She had gotten distracted by the humid heat of the hot springs that reminded her of home. They took their places around the table.

"Where have you two been?" Ned asked them, though he didn't seem to care that they were late, he just wanted to know why.

"Hot springs after laying in the sun." Kailasa told him. "I was just craving a bit of heat."

"Do you miss the sun and warmth of the South?" Catelyn asked.

Kailasa nodded. "As do you, I'm sure. The sun shining until afternoon storms and then reappearing for sunset and all."

Catelyn smiled. "I remember it well, Kai."

Nothing like a little rain on a hot summer's day." Kailasa smiled back.

"Indeed."

XXX

"You were with Arya?" Jon asked he walked her to her chambers that night. Robb wanted to be the one, but Kailasa said it was only fair since Robb spent all afternoon with her.

Kailasa nodded. "Yes."

"She said she wanted to show me something this morning, I spent all afternoon looking for her."

"She didn't tell me that." Kailasa frowned. "I feel bad. I talked her into going with me. I'm sorry."

"Robb didn't tell me she was with you. I take it he knew?"

Kailasa nodded slowly. "We told him when we left so someone would know if they wanted to come find us. He came to find us not long after. He said he didn't want to share me since you occupy so much of my time."

"I have to have something going for me." He half joked.

Just that sentence made her heart sink a little.

"He asked why I am letting both you and him court me." Kailasa stated, hoping he would ask for her answer, and a part of him would be happy when he heard her answer.

"Why did you?"

"I'll make the same deal with you that I did with him. I told him why I chose him, and I will tell you why I chose you. If you want to tell the other, you can, but that's about you. I don't want either of you acting like the other when that is the last thing I want. In return for my answer, you will tell me why you asked to court me."

"All right." He agreed, feeling bad that it wasn't him, but his father who asked. He only agreed because he truly wanted to know. Who would choose him when he had nothing and all of Winterfell came with Robb?

"I chose you because I knew from the moment you saw me that you saw me. You didn't see the person a put out there, though that does frustrate me sometimes. You question what you see and don't take it for the face value. You see what many haven't. You're curious. You confuse me just a bit, but at the same time I can understand you." She stopped walking and turned towards him, touching his tight curls on his head. "Also, I love your hair." She teased. "Your turn, Jon Snow."

He blushed a bit, looking down. "I didn't think you ever saw me, or if you did, I didn't think you saw me as anything. I didn't ask to court you. My father did." He looked up at her then, waiting to hear that she chose his brother. Waiting to see her face show that she was offended, but all he saw was the same sad expression when she told him she didn't care if he was a bastard as long as he was a good person.

She stepped closer to him. "Oh, Jon..." She pushed herself onto her toes, her hand on his jaw as she kissed him softly.

He didn't respond for a moment, so Kailasa pulled away, ready to apologize for being so forward. But before her lips could even form the words, his lips were back on hers.. One hand on the small of her back and the other in her silver hair. He kissed her like he was afraid of losing her, and she kissed him back, happy that he had to have some feelings for her if he was kissing her. Her hand moved from his jaw to his neck, pulling him closer to her. It was a good first kiss for the couple. Like they had been kissing for years. It was like they knew exactly when one would bite the other's lip, or tease them with their tongue.

Kailasa's hands moved to the front of his shirt and pulled him with her so she could be between him and the wall, pulling him tighter against her with the wall bracing her back to keep her in place. She wanted to feel him against her. She didn't even care that she couldn't breathe until she _really _needed air. Her hands flattened on his chest then, giving him a gentle push back. He obliged.

They were both breathing hard as they looked at each other, but just still looked like he was ready to be reprimanded, though his eyes were a little more guarded than before. She didn't like that, and pulled him in for another kiss.

He was more confident now. He pushed Kailasa against the wall so she didn't need to pull on him any longer. There was barely anything that she could feel that wasn't him or the stone wall behind her. The heat of him and the chill of the stone making her shiver from excitement. She didn't care if they were seen in a compromising situation. She didn't care about anything but the effect he had on her. She had never been kissed like this before. Never had a kiss been this perfect.

This time, when Kailasa broke away to breathe, he didn't pause when his lips moved to her neck, and finding here he could feel her pulse and sucking there.

"Oh," a quiet gasp escaped her lips. Jon liked that.

He could feel himself reacting to her, so he moved away from her so he wouldn't do anything both of them would regret-even if Jon was sure he would not regret it. He would not dishonor Kailasa in such a way.

Jon rested his forehead against hers as they breathed.

"What happens now?" She whispered, mostly to herself, but he answered her as well.

"Now I walk you to your room." He looked towards her door, just a little farther down the hall. "Which is about ten steps away, and I will leave you there and see you in the morning. We're going to town, remember?"

Kailasa smiled. "Yes, of course. Arya is upset that Lady Cat is not letting her join us. Sansa isn't ecstatic about spending the day with a ruffian like me. She can't handle the enigma that is me for too long.." She laughed quietly. "I bet she will beg for Robb's time." She pushed his hair away from his face. "I hope I do not have to beg for yours."

"I don't know." He whispered, leaning down until their lips were almost touching. "I would like to see you beg."

Kailasa smiled, tilting her chin up a little for their lips to touch again. They kissed slower this time. Sweeter.

They slowly made it over to Kailasa's bedroom, and with her pushing him against her door, they kissed goodnight. Stalling for time. Stalling for time together, and Kailasa stalling as she tried to figure out what this meant.

"Bye," she whispered from her doorway, as he stood not two inches away.

"Bye." He kissed her lightly.

"Bye." She kissed him before pulling away. "Really, we cannot do this all night."

"Yes, yes, you're right." He smiled. "Bye."

She kissed him softly. "Goodnight, Jon."

"Goodnight, Kailasa." He said. "I will see you in the morning."

"And I you." She kissed him a final time. "Now go. I do not think I will be able to close my door on you."

"As you wish." He bowed slightly. "Goodnight, my lady." He took a step away as he watched her smile at him.

"Goodnight." She whispered, closing her door and leaning against it.

Did Kailasa just make her choice with one kiss? Or a few? Gods, how could she possibly know? But that kiss left her lips swollen and her heart pounding. She replayed it in her head over and over again as she undressed herself and her nurse came in ten minutes after her she had returned from her room to set her corset for her to sleep in.

"You seem to be in a good mood." Kailasa's nurse told her as she hung from the stone edge of the window.

Kailasa didn't speak until she let her weight get back on her feet. She wore only a corset and smallclothes that had holes for her legs to go through like trousers. She hated sleeping in much clothing when she didn't have to. When Jon and Robb came to visit her, she had to put on a shift to wear over it so she wasn't indecent, but she could sleep just like this.

"I am in a good mood." She told her nurse. "Thank you for caring for me. I know it is not always the easiest thing to do."

Her nurse smiled. "I would rather take care of no other. Goodnight, milady."

"Goodnight, Rebecca."

XXX

Jon had three things on his mind that caused him to be unable to sleep. One was wondering if he had fallen in love with the silver lady. With the Southerner that would happily take him south with her. With the girl he could be more than just a bastard with. The second thing he wondered about was if she had chosen him. The last thing he wondered was if she had kissed his brother earlier that day. He was more than slightly jealous of his brother. He had everything he didn't. A name. A title. Winterfell.

Jon was not out of the running, though. She kissed him. More than once. And he could swear that just for a second she wanted him to come inside her chambers. He could see it in those sea blue eyes.

But there was still that voice in his head, telling him that she would never choose him. After all, who would ever choose the bastard?

**A/N:**

**xxxRena: Thank you! Thank you for your review!**

**Please review!**

**Kat**


	7. Chapter 7

It was definitely market day. The four of noble birth walked through the crowd unnoticed. Jon had Kailasa, and Robb had Sansa-which he wasn't too happy about. Both teenage boys wanted to have their potential betrothed, but Kailasa told Sansa she could be escorted by whoever she liked, and of course she chose her lord brother.

Theon had left with them as well, but he left them, winking at the two boys about how he was in the mood for a redhead. Of course, right after he left Kailasa turned to Jon and asked if he was going to the brothel. Jon nodded, and Kailasa knew her father was right when he refused to let her marry an Iron Islander.

The two groups got split up in the crowd, but it did not matter too much, they could all make it back to the castle easily. Well maybe not Kailasa, but she knew Jon would always at least be touching her arm, so she wouldn't get lost.

They found themselves by a silversmith who was selling jewelry and silver figurines. Bella saw a silver ship and picked it up.

"Does milady see something she likes?" The silversmith asked with a beard that matched the figurine in Kailasa's hand.

"Yes." Kailasa looked up at him. "Did you make this?" She held the ship up.

"Yes." He nodded.

"It's very well made. Very well done." She praised. "It looks like the ships that cross the narrow sea for trade."

"Thank you." He told her.

Kailasa also saw a necklace. It was a tiny wolf with his head raised back to howl. It was connected to a leather strap that would loop around the neck of the wearer.

Jon noticed what she was looking at. "Do you like it?"

Kailasa looked at him, smiling. "Yes, but I have yet to become a wolf, Jon." She handed the silversmith a coin for the little ship figurine, before something at another stall caught her eye and she pulled Jon with her.

She didn't see Jon take the necklace and tossing the silversmith a coin for it.

After not too long they needed a break from the crowd and they found a little thin alley right outside the market to duck into.

"I bet Sansa and Robb are looking for us." Kailasa said, looking towards the group like she thought she would see them in the thick crowd.

"Yes, but I wish to steal you just a moment more." Jon told her as he stepped towards her, one hand on her hip and the other slipping onto the back of her neck, his thumb running along her jaw.

"Do you, now?" She teased, her blue eyes never leaving his grey, though his eyes kept flicking towards her lips. She liked teasing men she knew wanted her. It all started with one lord-or prince, she couldn't remember-in Dorne. But right then, she couldn't think of Dorne. She couldn't think of anywhere besides where she was.

"Yeah." He kissed her, biting her upper lip softly before he pulled away from her, still keeping their faces close. "Why did you buy the ship?" He asked.

"Because it reminds me of the ships that would come to port from the Free Cities." She whispered. "It also looks like the ship I captained."

"Don't they all look the same?"

She laughed quietly as she shook her head, and she looked down to take the ship out of the little bag she kept her coins in. "This has triangular sails and two masts." She held it up to show him. "There are square rigged sails, and some ships have one mast, and some have more. There are some sails that have a wooden bar at the top, and those are really good for going across the narrow sea, actually. My favorite to sail is the regular triangular."

"What kind of ship did you come here on?" Jon asked.

"We had to travel upwind most of the way." She told him. "Triangular sails. We can get very close to the wind on those."

"You know much about ships, don't you?" He said.

"I live in a port rich with trade. I have been off and on ships my entire life." She replied, putting the ship back in her bag and looking up at him. "It is how I travel. It is safer for a woman to travel with people she trusts."

"That is true." He agreed. "Do you like to travel?"

"I like to see new things." Kailasa replied. "I don't want to miss out on anything in this world, especially since life is so short."

"Is that why you want to go back to Dorne?" Jon asked.

"How did you know that?" Kailasa asked, she didn't remember telling him that. She didn't remember mentioning Dorne much at all.

"Sansa once said something about you wearing a lot of Dornish dresses." He said. "I just assumed you wore them because you like it there."

"I love it there." She told him honestly. "It is much more progressive there. Women can be warriors and can be politicians as well as men. Children are thought of as children, no matter who their parents are. Bastards are not looked upon as less than true born children. Meara, my sister-in-law is a Martell, and the Martells have always been nice to me, and I have learned a lot from them."

"Like?" He asked.

"Not to judge people by who they come from but who they are." She looked down, smiling slightly. "I don't know who I'd be if I didn't go there. I don't know who my family would be without them."

"And are you ever going to go back to Dorne?"

"I will always have to go back to Dorne." Kailasa stated. "I promised Meara I would be there when she has another child."

"You are close with her?"

"From the moment we met."

"Are you like that with most people you meet?" He asked. "Can you decide on them just like that?"

"Most of the time." She admitted. "I like to think that I'm a good judge of character."

"And what did you think when you first saw me?"

She smiled sadly, running her fingers through her hair. "I thought you looked really sad, and I wanted to make you smile." She pulled on his shirt to pull him closer to her until their noses were nearly touching. "What does it take to make you smile?"

The corners of his lips turned up slightly before he kissed her. The kiss was teasing, almost like they were playing with each other until Kailasa pulled away. "Come on, we better go back. I wouldn't want them to think I kidnapped you." She teased.

"Oh, they would probably think I kidnapped you first." He replied. "You couldn't be able to kidnap me."

"Oh, don't think of me as less than I am. I could kidnap you if I wanted to."

"Yes, but kidnap makes it seems like I am unwilling. I think I would follow you without you forcing me to."

Kailasa laughed. "You're ridiculous."

"Only with you."

XXX

"Jon had you all day, can I not have you tonight?" Robb asked, only half joking.

Kailasa smiled. She did truly like Robb, just as she truly liked Jon. There were so many differences between the brothers. Robb was more confident, which she liked. He was very courteous, but at the same time made his voice known-not that Jon didn't, he just made it much more obvious than his brother. Robb was fine with being forward with Kailasa, while Jon let her take the lead.

Though connected by blood, the two were very different.

"What would we do?"

Robb smiled. "After sup meet me in the courtyard, I'll take care of the rest."

Kailasa paused. "I'm not sure if I like surprises."

"You'll like this one, I promise." He said.

Kailasa nodded then. "I'll trust you. I'll meet you there after sup."

"Good." He pressed a kiss to her cheekbone before leaving her.

Kailasa looked down, and felt a blush touch where he kissed her cheek.

Was it wrong that Robb make her heart quicken as well as Jon? Was it bad that she was a bit torn between the two brothers, and if she was asked to choose she would stand there and think for a long time before answering. She didn't know if she could answer.

Still Kailasa pushed that from her mind, at least for now.

She could always refuse both of them and live on her own like she had planned. She could run away from all of this. From all these feelings and all this confusion. She could go to the next great house and next great house until her father finally sent her to Dorne, or died.

She could be a coward.

XXX

"Where are we going?" Kailasa asked as he took her farther away from the castle and towards the godswood. "Isn't it dangerous?"

"Don't you trust me? We'll be fine."

Kailasa looked at him in the moonlight. "Okay, I'll trust you, but I swear if it starts snowing, I'm going to go inside and I will never forgive you for making me be cold."

He grabbed her hand with his free one. The other was carrying a bottle of wine he had the kitchens put into a bottle and a blanket. "Come on, you don't want to miss this."

Kailasa couldn't help buy giggle softly as he pulled her into a meadow. "If you wanted to get me drunk we could have just drank by the fire."

"If I wanted to get you drunk I would have had to bring a lot more than this." He held up the bottle before setting it on the ground.

Kailasa laughed. "I'm not a lightweight."

"Which is a good thing." He said. "You wouldn't be able to survive the North with being so easily influenced." He handed her half the blanket. "Help me lay this out."

She mimicked his movements.

"Now lay down." He told her, getting on the blanket.

Again, she did as he said, laying beside him. "Would you like me to teach you to navigate? Because I forgot my sextant."

"Your what?"

She giggled. "Never mind. Navigation gear."

"You're a sailor through and through."

She nodded. "I don't think that will ever change."

"Does your language change on a ship?"

"Only when I'm running it." She admitted, smiling. "When I get on land I'm fine, though. Just on the water...when people don't do as I say."

"I would like to see that." He said. "I have never seen you upset."

"You do not want to see me upset, Robb. I tend to lash out." She warned, her hand tightening into a fist for a moment, as if remembering what it felt like to have her knuckle broken after she punched a stone wall after she heard of her mother's death. She remembered the last lord from the Reach who had the gall to grab her ass as if it was his right. She remembered how it felt to have him lose a tooth because of her fist.

"I am sure you are a sight. I would never want to be on the wrong end of your fury. I am sure you can be just as unforgiving as the sea."

Kailasa half-sighed half-laughed. "I guess you know me better than you think."

"I just know the stories that surround your house. Your house is very well known, Kai."

"And what have you heard of it?"

"That your ancestors were the King's of the Coast. That you came straight from the sea. That your grandmother was a descendant of Valaryia, but was not a Targaryan. That's why you are white like snow."

Kailasa smiled. "My people always called me the silver lady, while my mother was called the golden lady."

"Do you miss your mother?"

"Every day." She told him honestly. "It's harder since I haven't been home since her funeral. My father sent me away the day after, and I haven't been home for more than three days in a row since."

"That must be hard." Robb said, taking her hand in his.

"It was."

"Was?"

"It's been better since I've been here. I'm a little sad and a little happy to say that your family has been not only the most kind, but the most welcoming I have ever seen. Everywhere else they assumed I would marry them because my father told me to."

"I think we all know enough to know that it would be your choice." Robb said.

Kailasa turned her head to look at him, and found he was already looking at her. "Tell me something about yourself that no one knows."

"I don't know if I could do that, Kai. I'm somewhat of an open book." He teased her.

"Nothing? You tell everyone exactly how you feel, what you think, and what you do?" She challenged. "I find that hard to believe."

"Okay, ask something more specific and I may have an answer for you." He replied.

"Okay." She paused. "What are your thoughts about the Westernlands, and why are seen as rich because they have gold, though the Coast has more wealth with its trade?" She raised her eyebrows in a challenge.

"Can you repeat the question?" He asked.

Kailasa laughed. "I'm only joking. It is too late and we are too young to have a topic such as that."

"And yet you know of it?"

"It is something that always confused me." She told him. "I have tried to understand as much as I can about it...but it isn't always welcome to hear a woman speak of business matters."

"Even when the woman is as smart as you?" He asked.

Kailasa smiled. "Especially when a woman is as smart as me. Especially when one doesn't enjoy holding her tongue when a man tells her to."

"Well your tongue would get terribly sore if you held it all the time." He teased her.

Kailasa laughed, looking back to the stars. "Wouldn't it?" She pointed to a bright star in the sky. "You see that?"

"See what?" He asked, trying to see where she was pointing.

"That star, right there." She told him. "The bright one."

"Yes?"

"That way is north." She told him. "It's the Northern Star."

"Is that like your moon is smaller than your thumb, thing?" He asked.

"Stars are steady. They don't change." She told him. "You can count on them to always bring you home."

"And which way is your home?" He asked.

She pointed southeast. "That general direction. Much warmer there, you know. I have never worn a cloak until I came here."

"Even in the winters?"

"I don't remember the last winter." She answered. "I may have worn a cloak then, but it still doesn't change the fact that I don't remember wearing one."

"So do you prefer the cold or the heat?"

"I prefer a mix of the two. I'm always cold." She told him. "I get teased because of it. In the heat of summer, I can get a chill."

"Are you cold now?" He asked.

Kailasa turned towards him again, and touched her hand to his face, making him jump.

"Gods, woman." He said. "How do you live?"

"And how do you live in the year-round snow?" She replied. "We all have our burdens."

He took her hands in his. "But yours is feeling like ice."

"Says the Northerner." She teased. "Shouldn't you be used to the cold?"

"Used to it? Yes." He said. "Surprised that you're apparently half ice? Yes."

Kailasa laughed. "Maybe that's the reason why I love the South, it is warm there."

"I don't know, I could keep you warm." He said.

Kailasa smiled. "Could you now? I am like ice, as you said."

"Yes, but Northern blood runs hot." He teased. "Come here." He opened his arms that looked so inviting.

She scooted over, laying her head on his shoulder. "My, you are warm." She smiled, letting herself relax as he put his arms around her.

"Better?" He asked.

"Much." She smiled.

"Tell me something about you that no one else knows." He said, echoing her demand earlier.

Everything that popped in her head was everything that she could not tell him. About how she was a disappointment to her father not only for her features, but for her deformity. Something every woman should be able to do, she wasn't sure if she could.

No lord would want a woman who couldn't guarantee him children.

No man would want a woman who couldn't have children.

But why did she care? She could last on her own. She had her last seventeen years. It wasn't as if she wanted to be married anyway... At least, she did not want to marry someone where there was no mutual love.

"I like night more than day." She told Robb.

"Why?"

"Because everything is more beautiful in the light of the moon." She told him. "Everything is cast in shadows and everything is dark."

"You like the darkness?" He asked. "I always thought it made everything more frightening."

"More frightening?" Kailasa asked. "Yes. More real as well. Every fraud comes to light in the dark."

"You are very interesting, you know that?" Robb asked her.

"I hope so. If I was normal, I would be boring, don't you think?"

"You could never be boring. There is too much going on in that head of yours." Robb replied. "I wonder if you ever get a quiet moment with all those thoughts running through your head."

"How do you know I think so much?" She asked.

"Because even when you are alone you never seem bored." He said. "Sometimes I feel bad for disturbing you when you're alone."

"Don't." She told him. "I had to get used to being alone as a child, and I had to amuse myself. I always feel better with some company."

"You didn't have any other ladies around?"

"Of course I did, I just don't always get along with other ladies." Kailasa replied. "They never liked me, I think that's a part of the reason why I always got along better with boys."

"Did they not like you, or the other way around?" He asked.

"They didn't like me until they spoke to me for a long while." Kailasa told him. "They were rather cold."

"I can tell you why." He replied. "They didn't want to be around someone as beautiful as you."

Kailasa turned to face him, smiling. "You are much too agreeable for your own good, Robb."

"And you are far too perfect for yours." He smiled before leaning in slowly to kiss her.

Kailasa was a bit surprised for a moment. Everything seemed to stand still for a moment when he kissed her. It was a soft kiss, a sweet kiss. A kiss that could always be classified as a first kiss with someone new. It was a good kiss, but it only reminded Kailasa of the inevitable.

She would have to make her choice soon.

**A/N: **

**xxxRena: Thank you! Thank you for your review!**

** .9: Thank you! Thank you for your review!**

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**Guest: Don't worry. Be happy. Thank you for your review!**

**Please review!**

**Kat**


	8. Chapter 8

Kailasa slept in the next morning since Robb kept her out so late the night before. Her absence was not missed by the Starks and Snow.

"Where is she?" Arya whined.

"The real question is, why is Robb falling asleep at the table?" Ned replied.

Robb had his head in his hands, his elbows resting on the table. His eyes were closed and he did look like he was sleeping.

"Robb?" Arya asked, shaking her brother's shoulder.

Robb jolted awake, sitting up straight. "What?"

"There are two tired seventeen year olds in Winterfell. There must be a connection between them." Ned said, obviously waiting for the story behind his statement.

"We went out to see the stars last night." Robb said, not able to hide his grin. "We lost track of time. It was pretty late when we got back."

In her head, Cat was already planning the summer wedding. She was sure Kailasa would wear some shade of blue-as they do on the Coast. Robb would wear Stark colors. It would either be at Winterfell or Goldenbirth. If it was at Goldenbirth they would stand in the ocean. If it was here it would probably be in the godswood, or the sept.

It would be beautiful.

XXX

Meanwhile, Kailasa was hyperventilating in her room, pacing around in nothing but her black corset and black underskirt. Her chest was heaving, making it look like her breasts were going to spill out of her corset.

"You know that pacing will not change anything." Elena, a girl with dark hair and olive skin told her. She was sitting on her bed, awaiting for the girl to stay still long enough to let her do Kailasa's hair and help her get dressed.

"I know." Kailasa said.

Another minute passed. "Which one do you regret kissing?" Elena asked.

Kailasa turned towards Elena. "What?"

"Well, you didn't act like this until you kissed both of them." Elena stated. "Come on, Kai, speak and then I may be able to get you to stand still long enough to properly dress you." Elena was always more of a friend than just a her maid. It was good that she had Elena around. She was always cool headed.

"I don't know. Both?"

Elena rolled her eyes. "Are you even thinking about marrying either of them?"

Kailasa paused for a moment. "Yes?"

"That sounds like a question." Elena said.

"No, yeah. I could see being married."

"To which one?"

Kailasa grimaced.

"Gods, Kai. Not both. You're not a Targaryan or a man for that matter."

"No! Of course not. How bad would that be?" Kailasa replied. "I doubt they would like it either."

"Then who?"

Kailasa was silent.

"Fine, you don't want to tell me." Elena said. "But I suggest you make it obvious soon."

"I'm going to hurt someone." Kailasa frowned.

"Welcome to life. Someone always gets hurt." Elena said. "Can you sit still now?"

Kailasa looked at Elena with large sea-blue eyes. "I don't want to hurt anyone."

"Don't be so naïve." Elena told her, standing up and lifting a crimson dress. "You will look so much like your mother in this dress." It was her mother's dress. That was a part of the reason why she brought it. Lannister red.

She hoped her mother would help her in some way. Give her a sign. Give her something. She was barely seventeen. She could captain a ship. She could act like she had everything under control, but she really didn't know what she was doing. She was just trying to live in a world that was rather unforgiving. She was young and indecisive. It was always easier to reject someone that to actually try to have a relationship with them.

XXX

"So, what did you do with Robb last night?" Jon asked her as that sat outside, alone. Their backs against a wall of Winterfell.

"We watched the stars." Kailasa answered.

"How long were you out?"

"The castle was dark by the time we got back to it." Kailasa told him. "So it was pretty late." She was hoping this wouldn't happen. She was stupid to hope that the brothers wouldn't question her about the other.

"And?"

"And?" Kailasa mimicked.

"Are you really not going to answer?"

"I would rather not." Kailasa replied.

Jon nodded slowly, as if trying to find a way to get her to answer.

"I don't tell him what I do when I'm with you either, just so you know." Kailasa said softly.

"Why?"

"Because I find it easier to make up my mind about someone when I do not have another person whispering in my ear." Kailasa told him. "The only way I want someone to influence me is by them telling me that they do not want me."

"Like that has ever happened to you." Jon replied.

"Jon, my own father all but said it to me." Kailasa told him. "Otherwise I would be at Goldenbirth right now. Or Silversheet if my father would let me."

Jon had forgotten about that...she just seemed so happy all the time that sometimes he forgot why her smile never reached her eyes. But right now she didn't pretend to smile, she didn't laugh at things just to make it seem like she didn't care. She just looked at him, watching for a reaction. Waiting for his realization.

And he was sure it was written all over his face.

"Right."

Kailasa opened her mouth to speak; she wanted to tell him that she was a bastard in her own father's eyes; no man would want a woman who couldn't have children.

Because then he wouldn't want her.

Kailasa closed her mouth and swallowed. "Don't look at me like that." She told him, frowning at the look in his eyes.

"Like what?"

"Like I'm someone to be pitied." She said. "I'm not. I come from a good family, and I will have a good life ahead of me. Even if I do not get Silversheet, I will have a wonderful life in Dorne. There is nothing for you to pity me for."

"Then answer me this." He said. "Why are you in pain?"

And just like that, a smile was back on her lips, an airy laugh leaving them. "What are you talking about?"

"You're in pain. I can see it sometimes." He said. "You don't tell anyone, but I can see it. Don't lie and say you're not."

"All right. Everyone is in pain some times." Kailasa stated. "Why should I be any different?"

"Because yours come from nothing." Jon said. "You are sitting on the sofa and a jolt goes through you and it's almost like you've been stabbed."

Kailasa licked the corner of her lips before smiling, her entire face becoming shielded. "You read too much into things, Jon."

"Do I?" He asked. "Because I can tell when you're lying."

"It is rude to accuse a lady of lying." She responded.

"Even when you are?" He asked.

"How do you know that I am lying? Which I'm not saying I am."

"You smile."

"I smile quite a bit."

"Yeah, but it doesn't reach your eyes. Your happiness is a shield for what you are trying to hide." Jon said.

"And what am I trying to hide?" She asked. "Pain? What does that entail? If I was in pain I would obviously go to your maester. He would have a remedy for it. If I was in pain wouldn't I ask for help?" She was a good liar, and she knew it. Even if he knew her tell, she could use her words. And with her words, it did sound like a very stupid story.

"Then why aren't you?" He asked, staying with his beliefs.

"Oh, Jon." She sighed. "You are very stubborn."

"So are you." He replied. "But I can see through it."

"My smile?" Kailasa laughed. "That is ridiculous, Jon."

"Why are you still lying?"

"Why are we still talking about this?" Kailasa asked. "Jon, please."

He was frustrated by this. She could see that in his posture more than his face. His eyes were averted from her, looking out from them.

"Fine." She sighed. "I'm lying."

His eyes flashed to hers.

"And maybe one day I will tell you. But until then can't I just pretend to be perfect?"

"But you're not perfect." He said. "That's why I like you."

Somehow, that made her smile, and she leaned towards them, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Then you must know that my reasons are my own."

"But you will tell me?" He asked, turning to face her.

"Maybe. If I trust you enough." She said softly.

"But will you tell me when you are in pain?" He asked.

"I don't know."

"Will you tell me when I can help?"

She looked into his dark eyes for a moment. "Yes."

His fingertips brushed her jawline, causing her to angle her head to the side a bit and her full pink lips part slightly.

He lent his head towards her, though their lips still did not touch. "Do you want me to kiss you?" His breath brushing against her lips.

"Yes." She whispered. She couldn't even deny it. She wanted to kiss him. She wanted him to kiss her.

And he did-slowly and sweetly-and he pulled away all too soon.

"May we talk about something more agreeable now?" She asked, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"Yes. What would you like to talk about?"

"Bran's nameday is next month." She said. "There will be a feast right?"

"Yes. And you will meet many other lords and ladies at the party." Jon said.

"What if I do not want to meet other lords and ladies? Would you let me spend the evening with you?"

"Wouldn't Robb be better company?"

"Why?" Kailasa asked. "I obviously enjoy your company, otherwise I would not be here."

"Why?"

"Why not? You're the observant one. You are so used to being overlooked you can see everything." Kailasa said.

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather hold the heir to Winterfell's attention?"

"Why? I think I would like to see how much fun I can get you to have." Kailasa said. "Please don't sell yourself less than you are. Apparently someone who has no faith in people thinks you are better than you think you are."

"But you have faith in me?"

"I do." She said.

XXX

_A little bird told me that there was a party going on at Winterfell. I had a dress made for you. I think you would be gorgeous in it. It's the latest fashion in Dorne, but I had sleeves added since you are in the cold._

_I hope it gets to you in time. Let us make everyone in the North fall in love with your silver beauty._

_If I do not see you within a year, I will be very upset with you or your father. It depends on who causes it. Do not make me march up to Winterfell to see my silver sister._

_Meara_

Kailasa smiled as she put down the note. Meara loved dressing Kailasa. She was a human doll for the Princess of Dorne.

The dress was two pieces, and positively the least amount of clothing she had worn to a party other than in Dorne. It was silver, and the top piece tied in the front just below her breasts and had sleeves that would go far passed her wrists. The skirt was high on her hips and back, and dipped down into a slight V on her hips, making her look thinner than she was. The skirt was several layers of sheer silver fabric that she could tell would dance around her legs as she walked. The dress would show her midriff, and when she looked in the box there were soft slippers in there, the same shade of silver as the dress.

"Is that what you are to wear to the feast tomorrow night?" Elena asked as she walked in the room.

Kailasa nodded. "I think so. Meara had it made for me." She held the top against her. "I would look like a silver stature don't you think?"

"A beautiful silver statue." Elena said. "You will be showing enough skin, I think."

"Not as much as you see in Dorne." Kailasa replied. "Remember Prince Oberyn's celebration?"

"Yes. I believe the majority of the women had on only skirts, and the majority of the men had their cocks out." Elena said.

Kailasa laughed. "It's a miracle that I'm still virgin isn't it?"

"In all honesty, yes. Especially since you enjoy Dorne so much." Elena replied. "But either way, you will drive the lords crazy in that dress."

"We'll see."

**A/N:**

**xxxRena: Thank you! Thank you for your review!**


	9. Chapter 9

"Kai!" Arya called through her door as Kailasa got ready for the feast.

Kailasa was already dressed, but Elena was braiding two braids on each side of her head, one at her temples, and the other just behind it, and they were connected to their match where there was no more hair left to braid.

"Come on in, Arya." Kailasa said, not moving her head.

Arya walked in and stopped when she saw Kailasa. "You're prettier than Sansa."

Kailasa laughed. "Thank you, love." She smiled, looking over Arya. She wore a blue Northern dress with her hair braided and tied up on the back of her head. She looked like a proper young lady. But Kailasa knew she would not act like it.

"I can see your stomach." Arya said.

"It's Dornish." Kailasa told her. "My sister sent it to me."

"Are you supposed to let people see your stomach?"

"In this dress, yes." Kailasa told her. "Does it bother you?"

"No. I have just not seen a dress like that."

Kailasa smiled. "And why are you ready so early?"

"Because I wanted to see you before." Arya stated. "Are you going to put your hair up?"

"No. Just like this." Kailasa said.

"Even though it will get in your face?" Arya asked.

"That's why you like your hair up all the time, isn't it?" Kailasa said. "I get that. I usually keep mine up in the South. But in the North, it is a nice blanket."

"And it has nothing to do with my brothers liking it down more?" Arya asked.

"They do?" Kailasa asked. "How you do know?"

"I hear a lot of things they don't think I do." Arya said. "Why do men like breasts?"

Kailasa laughed. "That is a good question. One I cannot answer."

"Because you don't want to tell me?"

"No. Simply because I am not a man, and I do not know." She answered.

"Will mine get as big as yours?" Arya asked.

Elena snorted. "Don't we all wish they would?"

"It's different with every woman." Kailasa said. "Some women have small breasts. Some have large."

"Is it harder to fight with large breasts?" Arya asked.

"Honestly, yes." She nodded.

"Then I don't want small ones." Arya said.

"I hope you get what you want." Kailasa told her. "Secretly, I want small ones too."

"Why?"

"So many reasons, Arya. Including that they get in the way of a few things." She winked at the younger girl.

"I doubt that." Arya said.

Kailasa laughed. "We all have our moments of wishing things were different from what they are."

XXX

Kailasa slipped into the feast, hoping to go rather unnoticed. But two men were both keeping an eye out for her, and even then, the silver woman was very easy to spot in the crowd. She was silver in the golden light of the torches and candles. Bright, almost like a star.

The moment she walked in, everyone looked towards the girl. Of course there was gossip about her. The Southerner come to steal the North's heart.

Of course, Robb got to her first.

"Well aren't you a vision." He said, his hand touching the strip of skin that was bare on her back. Her skin was so soft.

"You look good too." She smiled. "Stark colors?"

"Technically, you could be wearing a Stark color as well." He replied, his eyes flashing down for a moment, before meeting hers again.

"It's silver, not grey." She said.

"We'll see." He replied, grinning.

She laughed.

"So why are you late?" He asked.

"I put Bran's present in his room." Kailasa told him.

"What did you get him?"

"A book of stories." She told him. "I know he likes the scary ones."

"You want to traumatize my younger brother?" He teased.

"Oh, it all depends on how his imagination is." She replied. "Anything can be frightening if you can see it clearly in your mind."

"Do you say that from experience?"

"How else would I know?"

"Come." He said. "I will introduce you to the other lords and ladies."

She always hated this part. She was never able to remember someone's name. She always had a short temper when someone said something against her. She didn't care about these people, and she knew they didn't care about her. They were all looking at her like she was a freak, and she couldn't find it in herself to care. She kept looking over to where Jon was, alone, looking at her, though he was pretending not to.

"You must be frightfully cold in that dress. It seems to be so...thin. It seems like the dresses in the...well, you know." A girl said. She was a lady, with dark hair, and stood taller than Kailasa, but much, much thinner, like a little girl's body. No curves. She had a nose like a beak, and her lips pursed like she just ate a lemon.

"Not as cold as you think. You see, certain parts of my body are frightfully warm." Kailasa replied, pressing a hand to her chest. "Where my heart is especially." Her fingers just ghosted over her breasts. "If you get my drift." Her eyes looked at Robb, to see if she had gone too far-it was a habit she used to do with people she knew. Robb just was looking at the ceiling and trying not to laugh.

"Excuse me." Kailasa said, backing away from the people, before bowing her head slightly and leaving them.

Robb followed her, one arm wrapping around her waist. "Please tell me that girl did not just say you were dressed like a whore."

"She did." Kailasa said. "Is she still watching us walk away?"

Robb looked over his shoulder. "Yes. How did you know?"

"It's a girl thing. Is her face red?"

"Yes."

"Perfect."

Sansa walked right up to them. "Robb, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Yeah, what about?" He said stopping, and making Kailasa stop with him.

"Alone?" Sansa's eyes flashed to Kailasa.

"I'll be right over here." Kailasa said. "Have fun." She walked away, towards Jon, who was sitting at a table in the back with a few others. She put her hands on his shoulders and leaned down to whisper in his ear. "Take a walk with me." She didn't want to be here any longer anyway. Being around so many people kept her heart beating quickly, and made her feel rather jumpy.

"Where?" He asked, turning his head slightly.

"Anywhere." She said, before walking away, and hoping he would follow.

He did.

Kailasa led them through the castle, him following ten paces behind her. She lifted her skirts up to her knees as she broke into a run. His heavy footsteps picking up speed as hers did.

Kailasa didn't even know where she was going. At some point it became random turns, careful for not accidentally heading back to the party.

Of course, Jon could run faster than her. He caught her around the waist, and stopped her from running, holding her to him.

"Where are you going?" He asked, breathing hard.

"I don't know." She said, taking deep breaths as well. "Maybe I just wanted to run."

"From me?"

"With you." She replied. "I asked you to come, didn't I?"

"Why did you ask me to come?" He asked.

"Because I wanted you to." She said, turning so their chests were pressed together. "Why don't you ever believe me?"

His finger traced one of her braids away from her face. "Because everything is telling me that this can't be real."

"I'll tell you a secret." She teased, getting on her toes so their faces were closer. "It is real." She kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Jon's arms tightened around her waist, picking her up off the floor. His skin was like fire, and hers was like ice. Everywhere the other touched was tingling.

Kailasa suddenly thought that if he was at the party in Dorne, she wouldn't be a maid anymore. She felt like she was on top of the world, like she could stay there forever.

Slowly, Jon slipped her down until her feet touched the floor. His hand reached up to touch her neck, slipping to her jaw before tangling itself in her hair. They were both trying to pull the other closer, his hands leaving fire on her skin.

Yes. This was much better than that party.

XXX

"Please, Robb. I see that look on your face." Sansa hissed from the corner. "Don't ask to marry her. She's not a proper lady."

"You don't get a say in any of this." Robb told her. "And she's wonderful. You just don't like her because she is not like you."

"She's ill suited for the North." Sansa said. "I saw what she said to Lady Elaine. If you are to be warden of the North one day she will have to hold her tongue, which she is obviously not good at."

"That Lady Elaine called her a whore first."

"Which only means that she should have kept her mouth shut even more." Sansa said.

"Then why is our mother not saying anything against it? You know her, she would say something if she didn't like Kai."

"She is willful and stubborn, and we both know she will never do as you say." Sansa said.

"Perfect. She'll tell me when I've gone to far, which is what I am going to tell you now."

"Robb, come on." Sansa said. "I'm just trying to tell you what I think."

"And do you want to know what I think?" Robb replied. "I think that it is none of your business."

"So then you wouldn't want me to point out that since this conversation started both Jon and Kailasa have left the feast.

Robb looked up from his sister and scanned the crowed for the silver girl. She was indeed gone.

"She never liked large gatherings. She may just be getting some air."

"We'll see."

XXX

They ended up wandering back to the party some time later, though Jon had tried to persuade her to stay back there in the abandoned part of the castle, and it was so tempting to stay. But the night was still young, and their absence-or at least hers-wouldn't go unnoticed.

"Now what?" Jon asked, leaning down to whisper in her ear.

"Get me a drink?" She asked.

"As you wish." He said, slipping away to do as she asked.

Kailasa smiled, her hands folded over her stomach as she sighed happily.

"And where have you been?" Robb asked, his voice teasing, but Kailsa could see he wasn't all joking.

"Here and there." She said. "Gone to get some air. You know I don't like being around so many people for so long."

"Yes, that I know." Robb agreed. "And Jon kept you company?"

"Yes." Kailasa said, not giving an excuse, for she had none. She just wanted him to go with her.

"For someone who doesn't like being around many people, you are hardly alone." Robb stated.

"Just because I choose to keep a small amount of people in my company doesn't mean I like to be alone." Kailasa replied.

"And how long until you would like to leave the feast again?" He asked.

"It depends on how long it takes for someone to say something I don't like." Kailasa stated. "Or when I start feeling like it's getting hot in here."

"And here I thought you Southerners like the heat." Robb said, his tone becoming more teasing again.

"I never said I didn't." Kailasa replied. "But it is a more comforting heat than it is with people who stare at me like I am an outsider."

"You don't have to be an outsider, Kai." Robb said.

"I don't know how to be anything else, Robb." Kailasa told him. "It's in my nature to be different from the rest."

"I can see that." Robb said.

"You can see what?" Jon asked, handing Kailasa a goblet of wine.

"Thank you." Kailasa said, taking a sip of wine.

"Did you guys have a nice walk?" Robb asked.

"I think so." Jon said. "Kailasa?"

"I have to agree." Kailasa said. "And how is this gathering going? I hope Bran is having fun. I haven't seen him sitting still since I got here."

"I don't even know where he is." Robb said.

"Probably going through his presents." Jon said.

"Looks like he's not going to be getting yours until he goes to bed, then." Robb told Kailasa, nudging her with his elbow.

Kailasa laughed quietly. "I guess not."

"What do you mean?" Jon asked.

"Oh, you didn't tell him?" Robb asked.

"I put his present in his room." Kailasa told Jon. "It's just a book of scary stories, so I thought it would be best for him to read them before he goes to sleep."

"You are going to traumatize your children, aren't you?" Jon asked.

Kailasa smiled. "Probably."

"No, you'd be a great mother." Robb said.

Kailasa licked the corner of her lips, not knowing how to respond to that. "I guess we'll see at some point." She finally said, looking between the brothers as they kept glaring at each other. "In other news, what did Sansa need to talk to you about?"

"Nothing really." Robb said quickly.

"You don't want to tell me, that's fine." Kailasa said, her voice taking on a sarcastic edge. "I take it that it was her saying very flattering things about me that you would feel embarrassed to tell me about because they are so nice."

Robb laughed. "Yeah, you go with that."

XXX

"Sansa," Catelyn called to her eldest daughter.

Sansa looked up and left the two ladies she was talking to so she could go speak to her lady mother. "Yes?"

"Would you please go separate Jon and Kailasa?" Catelyn asked, watching as the girl she spoke of.

"Why?" Sansa asked.

"Please do as I ask."

"But I don't want to." Sansa said. "I don't even like her."

Catelyn sighed. "And why don't you like her?"

"Because she's not a proper lady. She claims to be, but she is not." Sansa said, stubbornly. "If she was, she wouldn't let Jon court her."

"Then why don't you help her stay a lady and help me keep her and Robb close." Catelyn said. "She would do well in the North. She is strong enough to handle the winters."

"How would you know? She got sick from a little cold."

"That's not what I mean, Sansa." Catelyn told her daughter. "Now take Jon away from Kailasa and Robb."

Sansa frowned, but still walked away from her mother to do as she bid. She walked over to the three, and returned to her mother with Jon following her, smiling like she was the smartest girl in the world.

Cat closed her eyes for a moment. Knowing exactly that her daughter did.

"You needed me, Lady Stark?" She asked.

Lady Cat opened her eyes. It was getting late anyway, and it would keep Jon away for at least an hour. "I think it is about time Rickon goes to bed. Would you take him?"

"Of course, Lady Stark." He said, but his dark eyes told her that he was not ignorant to what she was doing.

Catelyn silenced the part of her that felt bad.

XXX

Kailasa ended up dancing with Robb not too long later. Though it wasn't really a dance, just swaying back and forth. His hand was on her bare back, while her hand was on his shoulder, their other hands were holding each other.

"I know Sansa doesn't like me." Kailasa told Robb softly, so he was the only one that could hear what she said.

"I don't know why. She's just being stubborn." Robb replied. "She has nothing against you. Except maybe your beauty. I doubt any girl would like to be outshined so completely."

Kailasa smiled, closing her eyes for a moment. "I love red hair, though. My brother has red hair and I will forever be jealous of it."

"But you're silver, doesn't that make you more unique?"

"Perhaps, but when you always stand out sometimes you want to be invisible for a bit." Kailasa stated. "Just like when you're invisible all you want to do is be seen."

"Well, I'm afraid to say that you will never be invisible to me." Robb told her.

Kailasa leant her head against his shoulder, still smiling. "I don't know how to respond to that."

"How about with a, 'good?'" He asked.

"Good, then." She whispered.

She felt his hand move from her back to touch her hair softly. "You're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." Robb said softly.

"Obviously you have never been to Dorne." She teased softly.

"You don't know how to take compliments." Robb said.

"Not when they are said as sincerely as you do." Kailasa replied. "It makes me wonder what your eyes see."

"Don't we all see the same thing?"

"In my experience no." Kailasa said, pulling away to look into his eyes. "And even if we do personal experiences change what we see into something completely different from what another sees."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because everyone has a different perspective." Kailasa told him. "No two people ever see the same thing as the other. Ask any two people present for anything, their story will differ slightly."

"That usually means that someone is lying."

"Not always. One person's truth may not be the other's." Kailasa said.

"You don't think people lie?"

"I always think people lie. But if the story just differs a little, that doesn't mean much."

"So right now, while we are here, and let us say someone is watching from over there,-" he nodded to his left, "and someone is watching over there-" he nodded to his right, "-that they are seeing completely different things from each other and we are seeing completely different things from where we are."

"Not completely different. They would still be seeing us." Kailasa replied. "Though they may think that we are having an argument or whatever. They still see the players."

"So at the end of all of this are you, me, and Jon all sit down and tell the others the story of who you choose?" Robb asked.

"I may not choose anyone, Robb." Kailasa said softly.

"Why?" Robb asked. "You've been here for a while now and you seem perfectly happy."

Kailasa smiled sadly. "I've always been good at running away, Robb."

"You never seem the type to run away to me." Robb replied.

"Which is why they always let me go." Kailasa said. "The only person to this day who has sent me away before I could leave was my father."

"I would never send you away." Robb told her.

As much as she wanted to believe that was true, a part of her didn't know if she wanted to stay or not. If she wanted to give herself to the North.

But at the same time she did want to give herself to a Northerner.

XXX

By the time Kailasa made it back to her room, she was almost sleepwalking. She had told Elena and Rebecca to do what they liked with their night-she could handle getting herself in her corset at least once. After all, she did have one that would lace up the front so she could do it herself.

It was white and she would only wear her small clothes with it-she felt like it was a bit warm anyway, but that could have been because she had too much wine.

She got herself dressed, and braided her hair over her shoulder so it would not be a mess in the morning. She blew out the candles that lit her room, leaving only a small fire in the hearth that kept the room lit.

Kailasa sighed, just wanting to sleep off the wine she had drunk, but she still put on a white robe over her corset and opened the door. Jon stood before her.

"Where have you been all night?" Kailasa asked. "You left without a word."

"Lady Stark wanted me to take Rickon to bed." Jon told her.

"Couldn't his nurse have done that? Or his mother?" Kailasa replied.

"Yes, but why not miss out on an opportunity to separate me from you and keep giving Robb a better chance with you."

Kailasa frowned, reaching up to push his dark curls from his face. "I-"

But before she could say another word, his lips were on hers. This was the first time he kissed her with no warning-usually she was the one that started it. There was also a sort of desperation in the kiss. Like he was screaming for her not to forget about him. That he was there. That he wanted her.

Kailasa couldn't help but compare Jon and Robb's kisses. Robb either dominated the kiss, or let her dominate, he would hold her tightly, but at the same time treat her as if she was made of porcelain, and not want to let go. While with Jon, they were equals, both pulling on each other, Kailasa caught in a place where she didn't know if she was going to go up in ashes or shiver and turn into ice. It felt like Jon would leave fire everywhere he touched. He had no problem with pulling on her hair just right to make her moan softly, or biting at her neck or lips.

One kiss made her feel like a princess in a fairytale; the other made her feel like a woman who was not to be trifled with. One like she was glass; the other like she was steel.

But Kailasa was sure she had fallen in love. The thought terrified her.

XXX

"Let me guess, you kissed her." Jon said to Robb.

"Yes." Robb said. "You haven't?"

"I have." Jon said.

"When did you first kiss her?"

"Tonight." Jon said.

"Really?" Robb asked, trying to hide his grin. "I kissed her weeks ago."

"I never said we didn't kiss before that. She just kissed me." Jon replied.

"Is there a difference?" Robb replied.

"There's always a difference, brother." Jon replied. "If you haven't noticed anything about Kailasa, you have to notice how somethings are very specific with her." Jon began walking away from his brother. "Goodnight."

Jon did not mention that he could feel that one side of Kailasa's waist was thicker than the other half; a subtlety that he did not miss. But that didn't mean he knew what it meant.

**A/N:**

**xxxRena: Thank you! Thank you for your review!**

**Usedmemories: Thank you so much! Thank you for your review!**

**babiluv22: Here you go!**

**Please review!**

**Kat **


	10. Chapter 10

"I brought you snow." Kailasa's nurse told her the next morning, bringing in a bowl of it.

Kailasa groaned, wanting to sleep more. "It's time for sleep."

"Take off your corset and lay on your stomach." Rebecca told her. "You can go to sleep like that. Your back is bothering you, is it not?"

Kailasa nodded, sighing as she sat up and started undoing her corset with clumsy fingers.

Rebecca looked over the girl, and decided not to comment on the bruise on the side of her neck just yet. She just closed her eyes and sighed.

Kailasa flung the corset to the side, and took a towel to lay down on the bed before she laid on top of it, her back fully exposed.

Rebecca pulled up the blankets of the bed to try to keep her legs warm while her back would be cooled significantly. She laid another towel over Kailasa's back, before putting the snow on her back. Kailasa flinched away from the cold of the snow.

"It smells like herbs." Kailasa said softly.

"It has evergreen, bay laurel, lavender, and peppermint in it. To help with the pain and inflammation."

"I like peppermint." Kailasa said softly, sounding like she was falling back to sleep.

"I know you do." Rebecca smiled, sitting on the bed beside her as she smoothed it over her. "How was the party?"

"Good." Kailasa whispered. "A girl called me a whore."

"And what did you reply?"

"That she didn't have breasts." Kailasa said. "I know some girls are really sensitive about that."

"And who in front of?"

"Robb."

"I'm sure she appreciated that."

"He waited until we walked away to start laughing."

"And Jon?"

"We weren't able to spend too much time together." Kailasa said, her voice going lower. "It seems Lady Cat is trying to stack the odds in Robb's favor."

"I take it the bruise on your neck is from him, then."

"No." Kailasa said.

"Jon?"

"He came to say goodnight." She whispered, hiding her face in her arms.

"Of course he did." Her nurse said, standing and putting the bowl on the night stand. "I heard the servants talking, you know. The silver lady who held every man's eye, though no one would go near because there was always a man on her arm."

"As if they said that. I take it they said I was on theirs."

"Yes, but I know better. You have never been on anyone's arm. They have always been on yours."

XXX

"You think you're good with a sword?" Robb asked, flipping a wooden sword, and catching it by it's "blade" and holding the hilt towards her.

"No." Kailasa said. "I'm terrible. My brother always knocked me on my ass. I haven't picked up a sword in such a long time."

"I promise to go easy on you."

Kailasa licked the corner of her lips for a second, before taking a thin strip of leather from her wrist and putting it between her teeth before gathering her hair on the back of her head and tying it up with the piece of leather. She took the wooden sword.

"You realize that it is a possibility that we will both be bruised by this."

"Do you bruise easily, my lady?" He teased.

"Perhaps." She teased back. "And when I have black and blue covering my skin, I will blame you."

Robb laughed. "I would never hurt you."

"I guess we'll see." She replied, tossing the wooden sword between her hands, feeling its weight. "I was taught with a Bravosi sword. They're much lighter than this." She held up the wooden sword in her hand.

"Do you have your own sword?" Robb asked.

"No." She said. "Bow and arrows are my weapon of choice."

"That I know."

Her wrist flicked forward, her arm darting out with it, catching him by surprise as she hit his arm lightly.

"Hey, cheater." He said, knocking her sword away as he laughed.

Kailasa grinned. "My brother and I always fought dirty." She said. "It's the only way I know how."

"You like to fight dirty, then." Robb said, his wooden sword hitting hers lightly.

"Always." Kailasa said, as he blocked another light hit from him. She knew that he was just playing with her.

They spared for a moment, both holding back from what they could do with the blade, but slowly it became more and more competitive. Kailasa was slowed down by her dress, the skirt sometimes caught around her ankles, making her movements less free than she wanted to be. Their hits became a bit harder, and it became more like a dance between the two.

Of course when Kailasa blocked him, he grabbed her other arm and pulled on her in such a way that her back was pressed to his front, and his wooden sword was at her neck.

"I win." He whispered in her ear.

"I told you I wasn't a swordsmen." She said, trying to pull away lightly, but he stopped her.

"But you are a warrior, are you not?" He asked.

Kailasa thought for a moment, looking for a way out of this position. Looking for a way to win. "Yes." She decided, bringing her elbow back, and hitting him in the stomach, making him release her as he coughed.

"Cheater!"

"I never said I fought fair!" She replied, her wooden sword at his throat. "I win."

"You cheated."

"If I called myself a pirate would that make you feel better?" Kailasa asked. "I'm already a sailor, I could easily cross over."

"And be an outlaw?" Robb asked. "No, I couldn't see it."

"I'd be the fiercest pirate captain the world has ever seen." Kailasa announced. "They would say my name in fear."

"I am sure people already say your name in fear." He said, hitting her sword with his lightly. "Did you here Kailasa Merrin is coming to town? We better hide away the men or they will be following her with a face like a hound."

Kailasa laughed. "I doubt that anyone would say that."

"Women will fear their husbands will leave them for you." Robb continued. "Men will be afraid that they will not be able to have you."

"No one will ever have me but me." Kailasa said, knocking her sword against his.

"So you never want to get married?" Robb asked.

"I never said that." Kailasa replied. "I just don't think because you're married you should be owned by someone." She tapped her sword against his. "Mostly when they're arranged. Suddenly you're owned by a stranger. It's archaic."

"It's happened for thousands of years." Robb replied. "It doesn't seem to be stopping anytime soon."

"But it should." Kailasa replied. "And as I said, archaic."

"And you think things have changed?"

"You must go to Dorne someday, Robb." Kailasa said. "Things are better there than they are here."

"How?"

"In all the ways I like." Kailasa replied. "While here it is bastards that are frowned upon, in Dorne rape is. Things that are actually harmful are stopped as much as they can. You can be of low or high birth and speak without being asked why you are speaking. Women can lead and even rank higher than men. It is never the eldest son that gets their parents' wealth, but the eldest child no matter the sex."

"Is that how you became who you are?"

"I have been bouncing back and forth from there and Goldenbirth since my brother's marriage. It is who I became who I am, and I am glad for it." Kailasa said.

"It sure has made you different from anyone I've ever met." He said, twisting his sword around hers in such a way that he was able to get it from her grip, sending it to the ground.

"I told you I wasn't good." Kailasa said, bending down to pick up the sword.

"I wouldn't want to own you." Robb told her. "And even if I did, I would want you to have as much of a hold over me as I do on you."

Kailasa smiled slightly, raising her sword. "Shall we go again?"

XXX

"Come on, let's go by the pond." Robb said, pulling her away from the castle by her hand. He was very much trying to occupy all of her time.

"Hey, Kailasa, where have you been?" Jon called, walking up to her. "Do you want to go see the hot springs under Winterfell?"

"She saw those months ago." Robb told his brother. "And we were just about to go to the pond."

"Wait, did I ever agree to that?" Kailasa asked.

Jon gestured to Kailasa. "So which do you want to do?"

"Well, I was just going to go sleep for a bit, I didn't get much sleep last night." She told them.

"Why not?" Jon asked. "Are you okay?"

"Nightmares." She said simply, and it wasn't a lie. She hadn't slept much. She kept dreaming of storms. Great ones. Dangerous ones. Ones that could tear homes apart. Ones her mother would hold her as she slept during when she was a child. Ones that could frighten her to this day.

"What about?" Jon asked.

"Storms." She answered simply, backing away. "See you both later." And then she turned and walked away.

"I think she knows what we're doing." Jon said when she was out of earshot.

"And what are we doing?" Robb asked.

"Obviously we are trying to keep her away from the other." Jon said. "And she sees it too."

"What's your solution for this, then?"

"I don't have one. Neither of us are going to back off." Jon replied simply. "Maybe we could not make it so obvious?"

"Well, we were going to the pond until you came out."

"Yeah, but either way I am sure she would have gone inside." Jon told him. "She does what she wants."

"Yeah, I know that."

XXX

Kailasa wanted to roll her eyes at the brothers. But she knew it was at least partly her fault. She needed to choose. And she needed to choose quickly, and she already knew who she wanted to choose. She just wanted to make sure that he wanted her too.

But she was terrified of what that would entail. She couldn't even imagine making a choice that would shape the rest of her life. What if she would regret her choice? What if she didn't regret her choice? Both terrified her.

But many things terrified her.

XXX

_Kailasa pushed Jon against the pillows. Her body above his, her legs straddling his hips. She held his wrists in one hand above his head while her hand drifted down to untie his shirt as they kissed. He lifted his hips to meet hers through their clothing. She could feel how hard he was. She could feel how much he wanted her._

_Kailasa's lips left his to kiss his neck, wanting to leave the same mark he had left on her. _

_"__Do you enjoy teasing me, wife?" Jon asked, thrusting his hips against hers as he slipped one of his wrists out of her grip, and slid it under her dress, and slipped it beneath her small clothes. "I would never tease you."_

_Kailasa hummed happily as he slid his fingers over her, pulling away to look in his dark eyes. "I love you." She kissed him._

"Kailasa, wake up." Said his voice, making her open her eyes.

"Hmm?" She looked around. Jon was kneeling next to her, shaking her arm that held a book against her chest.

"You were having a nightmare."

_Yeah, a nightmare_. She almost wanted to laugh. "And you're my knight in shining armor." She teased, sitting up. "What is wrong with me? It is not even nighttime and I am falling asleep."

"What were you reading?" Jon asked, sitting beside her.

"Just a fairytale that follows my family name." Kailasa told him. "It is said my ancestors came out of the ocean, that some of us have tails instead of legs."

"And who wrote it?"

"My mother." Kailasa told him. "When she was ill she took it upon herself to hear every version of the tale and write down one with the best of the stories. She made a copy and another for my brother."

"And you brought it with you here?"

"I bring it everywhere." She answered.

"Will you read it to me?" He asked.

Kailasa smiled. "Sure." She curled her knees under her and leant against him, flipping the pages until she arrived at the beginning. "Back in the time of the first men..."

XXX

"Kailasa?" Jon asked softly one night when he sought her out. She was in her room writing her letters to her family like she did every turn of the moon. Afterwards she would go to sleep, and Jon planned on being the last person she would see before she closed her eyes.

"Yes, love?" Kailasa asked as she wrote a letter to Meara.

"Are you going to ever choose between Robb and me?" Jon asked her.

Kailasa paused with her quill in the ink. "Yes."

"It's not going to turn out well for me, is it?"

Kailasa looked up at him. "Who do you think I am, Jon?"

"I think you're a highborn girl that could find anyone with so much to offer." Jon replied.

"And what do you think I want from you?" She asked him.

"I have no idea." Jon told her honestly.

"And what do you see in me? Am I just some girl who has showed interest and you just enjoy the attention?" Kailasa asked.

"No. Never." Jon told her. "There's so much more to you than that." He paused. "I...I love you."

Kailasa froze as if turned to ice. "What?"

"I love you." That wasn't exactly the reaction she was hoping for.

She turned to him, almost in shock. "I..."

Jon waited as she paused after just beginning her sentence. Her lips were moving, but there was no sound coming out.

"Fuck, I'm bad at this." She finally groaned as she stood up, and took two steps over to him. "But actions always speak louder than words." She took his face in her hands, and kissed him, crawling onto his lap in such a way that her knees were on either side of his hips.

Yeah. She knew she would be making the right choice when she would choose him. She had known she would choose him for quite some time now...as least subconsciously. She gravitated towards him. She sought him out as much as he did her. A natural pull towards the other that happened without meaning to. Something she didn't even know she wanted until it happened.

Kailasa pulled away, leaning her forehead against his. "Gods." She sighed. "Yes. I love you. I choose you. Please tell me that you choose me too."

"Even if a thousand soldiers stood between us they would not keep me from you." He said. "Only you would be able to get rid of me."

"I doubt that would ever happen." She whispered, their eyes staring into each other deeply.

"So you want to marry me, then?" He asked, almost teasing her.

"Is that you asking?" She challenged. "I hoped for something a little better than that."

"Oh? And what exactly did you want?"

Kailasa smiled, running her fingers through his hair. "I wanted something like this." She sat back on his knees, and took his much larger hands in hers. "Jon Snow. I know that we aren't in a story where we will live without conflict, and are always happily in love. I know that we will fight and we will get angry with each other, and at some points may even want to never see each other again. But I also know that if I do not ask you this, I will regret it for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?"

Jon was speechless for a second before he took her hands in his. "Kailasa Merrin. I know that we are not in a story in one of your books. We will fight and we may hate each other for moments. But I also know that every fight we have will only make us stronger together. I know that even when you are cross with me, or when I am cross with you, I will never stop loving you. I will always love you. I am already yours, so please tell me that you will be mine. Marry me?"

Kailasa looked up for a moment, unable to stop the tears from appearing in her eyes. "Yes. Gods, yes." She kissed him again.

XXX

It was storming in the dead of night when someone came to the door of Winterfell. They banged on the doors until a servant finally answered.

"I have come to collect Kailasa Merrin." A man with black hair and blue eyes said. "Her father is on his deathbed. Tell her he sent Captain Jones to bring her home."

**A/N: **

**Autumn 98: Yes, she does. How did you know? Thanks for the review/question!**

**Finlee: It is going to have an interesting ending, I'll tell you that. Thank you for your review!**

**I love damon Salvatore girl: Here you go? lol. Thanks for your review!**

**Usedmemories: Thank you so much! Well, it's going to be said soon, I promise! Thank you for your review!**

**gallowsCalibrator92: I think I changed that, but please tell me if I didn't! Thank you for your review!**

**Music Box Physicist: Thank you! Thank you for your review!**

**xxxRena: Yeah, a bit. Sisters do that, though. Haha. Thank you for your review!**

**Guest: I plan on finishing it, don't worry! Thank you for you review!**

**Guest #2: I think I fixed that (or to me it looks like I did). Sorry for the mistake! I was trying to fix something in the chapter and it went a bit wonky!**

**Please review!**

**Kat**


	11. Chapter 11

Kailasa wasn't even able to say goodbye. A servant was given a letter by Captain Jones and told to give it to Lord Stark upon the morn. Kailasa's maid and nurse were to follow her with the other ship with their things, but time is of the essence. It was unsure if her father would last enough time to say goodbye to his children.

Kailasa did leave a ship at Jon's place at the table. That was all the time she had until she was put upon a horse and she and her favorite captain were put on horses.

"How long has his health been declining?" She asked Captain Jones as he helped her upon her horse. She was still in her nightgown under her clothes. Her hair was still in messy braids from sleeping in them. The only thing that was out of place was a wolf necklace around her neck.

"He did not wish to worry you." Was all Captain Jones replied.

Kailasa did not reply to him, she only nodded, though more out of saying that she could hear him than anything. If her father cared to say goodbye to her, he would have told her that he was dying.

But everyone knew he would die. His heart had been slowly bleeding out since his wife had died.

XXX

"How did you enjoy the North?" Emma asked Kailasa as they were below in the Captain's quarters. It was storming out in the sea, but Kailasa had been in worse storms in less able ships. She was not worried, though the ship was being thrown around quite a bit. They were snacking on salted nuts to keep them from getting sick.

"It was good." Kailasa told her, and she couldn't help but smile.

"Did you fall for one of the Northern men?" She asked.

Kailasa looked up at Emma. "Not the one my father wanted me to."

"You feel in love with Eddard Stark's bastard, didn't you?"

Kailasa nodded. "He asked me to marry him."

"And you said yes, I take it."

Kailasa nodded. "What do you think about a summer wedding?"

"At Goldenbirth or Silversheet?"

"Silversheet." Kailasa told her. "Only a few people, you and the captain, of course. My brother and his wife. I'm sure that my father will be dead by then."

"Aren't you cheerful?" Emma said. "Who have you told?"

"He only asked me last night...so no one." Kailasa told her. "There wasn't really any time." Kailasa couldn't stop smiling. "I can't wait for you to meet him. He's a bit shy at first, but he sees everything, I swear. Every tiny thing that is happening."

Emma smiled. "I can't wait to meet him. Anyone that can make you smile just by a mere thought of them must be something special."

"He is."

XXX

"My time has come my children." Lord Merrin told his children, as they kneeled by his bedside. He was pale, weak, and much thinner than either of his children had seen before. He had been having coughing fits that would cause him to faint.

"Papa," Kailasa whispered, kissing his hand. "You can stay. Please stay."

"I have kept your mother waiting long enough." Lord Merrin coughed. "But before I go, promise me that you will marry."

Kailasa smiled. "I will."

"You will marry the Lord of Winterfell." Lord Merrin said. "I sent the contract with the second ship. It is my final wish."

"But, Papa-"

"She will." Callum Merrin told his father. "I will make sure of it."

Lord Merrin began coughing again, and his children were ushered from the room by the Maester.

Kailasa grabbed her brother's arm. "I don't want to marry Robb. I want to marry Jon."

"The bastard?" Callum frowned. "Even in Dorne they do not marry the bastard. Do what they do. Bed the bastard and marry the true born."

Kailasa gave her brother the most betrayed look he had ever seen. "No. I already told him that I would marry him."

"Have you told anyone?" Callum asked.

"No." And Kailasa knew now that had been a mistake.

"Then it will be easily rectified." Callum said. "We can secure the largest part of Westeros, Kailasa. Do not say that those allies will not be good for the family to have."

"But Callum!"

"I am your older brother," he told her. "I know what is best for you. Be the Lady of the North. Be the silver woman in the land of snow. You will enjoy it there. Have Jon Snow warm your bed, but give the lord true born children."

"I don't want that." Kailasa told him. "I will not do as you say, I will not!"

"Yes, you will. I am your brother and your protector. The contract has already been sent, anyway. You cannot get our of it now."

"I will leave. I will leave and never come back." Kailasa threatened.

"No, you won't." Callum told her. "You will not go against your father's final wish."

"I don't love Robb." Kailasa told him.

"You don't have to love him."

"You love Meara, don't you?"

"Yes, but our love is more than just the emotion. It was good for both of our families. We are equals, and you wish to marry someone beneath you." Callum told her.

"I will never forgive you for this." Kailasa told him. "You will regret this."

"You will learn to love him. You said in one of your letters that you liked him."

"Liked him. Like a friend. Not like I love him." Kailasa said. "I was promised a true marriage, brother!"

"Things change." Callum said. "The family is on my shoulders now. You will not be a disappointment to this family."

"And if I do not give the lord of Winterfell a child?" Kailasa asked. "What happens then?"

"You will." Callum told her. "Just because your spine is out of shape doesn't mean your body won't give you a child. There's only a small chance."

"Not when my spine is here." She grabbed his hand and put it on her left side, where her spine was so obviously off center. "Even Jon could tell I was in pain, and he didn't even know me then."

"You're not in pain, stop being a child." Callum said. "You have to be faking it. It's not like you have a broken bone."

Kailasa struck her brother across the face, the sound echoing through the stone hall.

Callum's head turned to the side with the force of the blow, but slowly turned back to her, and grabbed her face, bringing it close to his.

"Do that again." He said softly. "And I will give you a matching mark."

XXX

Jon held the silver ship in his hand.t hadn't left his possession since he found it where he used to sit at the table. It was his. He knew she had to have wanted him to have it. It had to be a sign...to follow her. To go to her.

But that damned marriage contract had arrived. And it wasn't for him, but his brother.

She couldn't have known about it. She couldn't have. She agreed to marry him. She said yes. She kissed him and they had spent a while making plans. Him asking her about where she would want them to go.

_"__Silversheet would be our home." She had told him as she sat on his lap, their fingers twisting and untwisting. "It's beautiful."_

_"__Where is it?"_

_"__Just north of Goldenbirth." She told him. "It's not as big as Winterfell, but it's on a cliff, and it's beautiful. There are walls all around the city, and the castle has a private beach."_

_"__Would we fill the house with children?" He teased. _

_Kailasa sighed. "About that...there's something you have been asking me, and I think it's about time you know."_

_Jon was suddenly alert. "About why you are in pain?"_

_She nodded, taking his hand and putting it on her back. "I have something that I don't really know if there is a name for. Do you feel this?"_

_He nodded. "I felt it before too."_

_"__That's my spine." She told him. "It's not uncommon, exactly...just in this way it is. This severe, but that is what causes my pain...but it may also hurt my chances of having children."_

_"__So?" He asked._

_"__Do you still want me?"_

_"__Why would that stop me?" He asked. "I just want you."_

_Tears appeared in her eyes, and for a moment, Jon had thought he said the wrong thing, but then she kissed him._

_"__I love you." She whispered for the first time, leaning her forehead against his. "I love you."_

_"__Now tell me more about this home we will have." He said, smiling. "I think it is a bit unfair that you have seen it when I haven't."_

_She smiled. "I guess we will have to change that as soon as we possibly can."_

She trusted him. That spoke more than anything else. The thing she had been hiding since she arrived. The thing that she told him she would not tell, and yet she did. The moment he said he wanted to marry her. The moment she said yes.

She wanted this as much as he did. He wouldn't let her go. It was time he faced the million swords to get to her.

**A/N:**

**Usedmemories: Yep! She chose him, but things do not always go as planned. Thank you for your review!**

**Autumn 98: So you're over it now? That's cool! Thank you so much! Thank you for your review!**

**Jemma: Thank you, and here you go! Thank you for your review!**

**Guest: Welcome! I would've changed it sooner if I would have known! Thank you again for telling me! Thank you for your review!**

**IwillBeDamned: Well, I gave you the definition of what it was, but not the name. (I don't think they would have a name for it in this timeframe lol). So happy you're enjoying it! Thank you for your reviews!  
**

**A Darker Heaven and Hell: I love them both too. Thank you for your review!**

**xxxRena: You are absolutely right. Thank you for your review!**

**Guest: Yep! Thank you for your review!**

**NOTagentsofnothing420: Thank you so much! I love GOT too(obviously, lol)! They always hurt me in the best and worst ways! Thank you for your review!**

**Please review!**

**Kat**


	12. Chapter 12

"I will talk to him." Meara said, petting Kailasa's silver hair. "If you still do not want to, go to Dorne. Captain Jones will take you there."

"I don't want to go to Dorne." Kailasa told her. "I just want Jon." And she did. She didn't even know how much she missed him until he was no longer around her every day. She wanted him beside her again. She wanted just to hear him talk, or feel his hands on her skin. Emma had been right, it struck her like lightning that she wanted Jon and no one else.

Meara sighed. "I don't know what I can do, Kai." She said honestly. "The contract has been signed and sent. You Westerosi love your contracts, and you're your father's property, so he gets to sell you even as he dies."

Kailasa almost growled. "I'm going to tell Robb. I'm going to tell him everything, and he will let me go. He's a good man. He won't force me."

"How do you know that?" Meara asked. "Have you ever rejected him before?"

Kailasa looked towards her sister in law. "No."

"Then I wish you luck. Men are not very good with rejection, most of the time they want to hurt you as much as you hurt them."

"Has my brother..?"

"No, never." Meara told her. "He's only being like this because he is the head of the family now. He will get better, and he will regret doing this to you. I can promise that. He's just under a lot of stress, and he wants you to have your own place in the world."

"I do have my own place." Kailasa told her. "At Silversheet. Why can I not be acting lord there? Why can I not choose who to marry?"

"I do not know." Meara said. "Because you're his little sister and he wants you cared for, perhaps."

"He's stupid."

Meara laughed quietly. "All men are stupid, that's why us women need to be around."

XXX

A burning longboat was sent out to see while a small crowd gathered around the shoreline in mourning clothes. The sun was just below the horizon

Kailasa held her youngest nephew, Kane in her arms. He was just a baby, and he pulled on Kailasa's silver hair with his tiny, chubby baby hands. She didn't mind. It didn't really hurt. The child in her arms looked exactly like his mother. She felt more comfortable with him in her arms.

Kailasa loved children. She loved every single one. When her nephews and niece saw her, they had reached for her as much as she had reached for them. It is a rare gift to be loved by children as much as you love them, and that was a gift that Kailasa had. A gift she may not be able to share with her own children.

The lords and ladies slowly left, and Kailasa left soon after them, only being stopped by her brother.

"The Starks will arrive in a week." He told her. "The wedding will take place soon after that."

"I do not want to marry him." Kailasa told her brother again. "I want Jon."

Callum just nodded before walking away from her.

"Here, give Kane to me." Meara said, taking the child from Kailasa. "Go for a swim, Kai, we both know it makes you feel better."

Kailasa nodded stoically. "Thank you."

"I'll have a servant bring you a towel." Meara smiled sadly. "Now go, no one will disturb you."

Kailasa walked towards a gate closest to shore. Just like at Silversheet, there was a private beach, but unlike silversheet, this one was man made. There was a stream that was deep, and only a few meters wide with stones lining the sides. It led out to open ocean, but there was an underwater gate that kept the bigger creatures out of these waters.

Kailasa swept her hair over her shoulder and put it in a loose braid and tied the end off with the leather strip she kept around her wrist. Then she began to strip off her clothes.

She slowly undid the black ties on the black dress, letting the tie drop onto the sand and then slowly let the dress slip off her. She took off her corset and small clothes until it was just her and the cool sea air.

She stepped into the water, letting it wash over her, and then she began to swim. The water felt good on her skin. This was the first time she had swam in a long time...perhaps even a year. She couldn't remember the last time she was in this pool of water.

She was eighteen in a month, and she knew Robb was eighteen a few days ago...Jon would be eighteen the week after her.

But Jon would come for her, wouldn't he? He promised her that he would always come for her...would he keep that promise? She had been promised a true marriage, and that was taken from her. If she married Robb, the promise of Silversheet would be taken from her. Her brother, who she used to see as her only ally, had betrayed her, and Meara seemed to do nothing to stop him. She was alone in the world she used to wish for; in the world she used to dream of.

She didn't want to be here anymore. This place had always caused her pain. Everything she had ever been given here was taken from her. She had a loving family, an overall democracy. She had a mother who loved her, and who would always protect her. She had a brother who would teach her how to fight. She had a father who cared what she wanted. She didn't have any of that anymore. Her parents were dead, and her loving brother had been taken by a tyrant who decided that he would rule her life the moment it was in his power.

_"__It is best for you." _ _He said._

_"__You will have a good life in the North." He told her._

_"__You will be apart of two great houses instead of one." He stated._

Kailasa dipped her head in the water, and stayed below for a moment, trying to get the sound of her brother's voice out of her ears.

_What would it be like to drown?_ She wondered. _For a moment it had to be agony, but after it had to feel peaceful. Peaceful enough to drift forever._

But Kailasa didn't want to drown.

She brought her head above the water again, and breathed, the air felt like heaven after keeping her head underwater for so long.

She knew many people would think her stupid for wanting to refuse the match. She liked the man she was supposed to marry. She knew the man she was supposed to marry. That is a lot more than most women would get. Most women were told who they were going to marry, if they liked them or not.

Yet Kailasa would run away from this man if she had the chance to be with his brother.

So many people would hate her for what she wanted to do. The Starks, for one. Not all of them, but Lady Cat, Lord Ned, Robb, perhaps not Arya since she loved Jon very much. Sansa would probably be dancing in happiness if she found out that Kailasa wasn't marrying her true born brother.

Maybe she should just listen to her brother. Maybe she should marry Robb...Callum always did what was best for her in the past. Maybe it would be fine if she just gave in. If she would smile and say her words. Maybe Jon had changed his mind, or maybe he didn't love her enough to come after her. Robb was a good second choice, right? Even she doubted he wanted to be her second choice. The consolation prize.

It would be wrong of her if she married him. It would be right of her if she married him. There would be so many people hurt no matter what she did. She could be cast out from her brother if she refused Robb. She could hate herself if she married Robb. She had learned over her years what she wanted wasn't always right.

So should she follow her heart or her head?

Robb...he was great. He was perfect. The regular prince charming. He saw all the good in her. He was always comfortable with her. He always was playful, and even if he could be jealous, he was still always kind to her. He never said a word against her. He was perfect in an imperfect world. He never fought with her. He never confronted her about anything. He believed her, no matter what she said. He let her be her, and never tried to get her to share anything she wasn't willing to give.

Jon was the opposite. When they first met he was quiet and would only talk to her if she talked to him first, but he saw her. He saw her from the moment they met. He saw her, he didn't see the front she put up. He saw her pain, and he even questioned her on it, not because he wanted to hurt her in any way, but because he wanted to help her. He saw through her. He fought with her. He was honest with her. He wasn't perfect, but he was perfect for her.

While Robb was what some thought as perfect, she knew she needed someone to fight with her. Be the fire to her ice. Be the ice to her fire. She didn't need someone to be perfect; she needed someone to be perfect for her.

But a little voice in the back of her head kept wondering if Jon felt the same. Did he want her? Did he give up on her when Robb's marriage contract came? He had to know that she didn't know. She wouldn't be cruel and say she would marry him if she didn't mean it. She would marry him, if she got the chance. But how could she possibly know if she still had it?

Kailasa was scared, and confused, and in complete limbo. She knew she shouldn't make a move without knowing that it would happen. There was no use in ruining her life without knowing she would get what she wanted in the end. Who she wanted.

She knew Jon would be very unlikely to find her anywhere if she wasn't there. If she stayed here, he would come for her, wouldn't he? He would show up along with the Starks, and they could stop her wedding together. She just had to believe. She had to have faith.

She wasn't always the best at that, but she was best at following her heart.

**A/N:**

**babiluv22: Here you go! I'm a little happy I made you cry, because then that means you care about the characters, and that's all I want :) Thank you for your review!**

**PurpliePanda: Really? I made you switch sides. I feel very happy right now. Her brother is a dick. I'm going to say right now that if they had today's technology she would have a 50-60 degree S curve, if you know what that means (not many do). Thank you for your review!**

**xxxRena: Thank you! Yes he is! Thank you for your review!**

**Please review!  
Kat**


	13. Chapter 13

Kailasa was dressed in a lavender colored gown with a corset on the outside when she greeted the Starks to her home. She wore a solemn expression the entire day. Her hair was twisted into a halo around her head, making it look like a silver crown sitting on her head. She had her hands folded in front of her, and her eyes cast downward. Many would think she was still in mourning of her father, but she felt as if she was mourning for her father at the same time she did for her mother; she was an orphan long before her father's heart stopped beating.

The moment that the Starks entered the courtyard, Arya had to be stopped from running to Kailasa by her sister. Pleasantries were given, introductions were said.

"Well, it's good to finally see the faces in the stories my sister would tell." Callum had told Lord Ned with a smile.

"I hope they were all good ones."

"They were," he told the lord of the North. "Now, come on inside."

"Hello Kai." Robb said, walking up to her as he smiled brightly.

The corners of her lips turned up slightly. "Hello, Robb."

"I'm sorry about your father." He told her.

"And I am sorry I had to leave in the middle of the night." She replied, if she hadn't then everything would have been taken care of. She wouldn't be in this situation.

"It was out of your control." Robb told her.

She nodded, just as Arya ran for her, flinging her arms around Kailasa's neck.

"You're going to be my sister." She said, as Kailasa wrapped her arms around the young girl's waist.

"It's good to see you too." Kailasa told her, squeezing her lightly as she closed her eyes tightly.

"Arya, come along." Sansa said harshly.

Kailasa let Arya go, and the girl frowned as she followed after her elder sister towards the inside of the palace. She took that moment to look around for another of Stark blood. She found none. She could feel a stabbing in her chest, but not one that she was used to; this one was worse. She couldn't let it show, not even a moment.

She didn't know what to do now, so she would hide behind her manners. She overall felt utterly lost...she thought he would come. Where was he? He was supposed to be there.

"Come on," she told Robb. "I'll show you to your room. After all, you showed me to mine at Winterfell."

"Okay," he held out his arm for her to take, and she did.

"This place is just like you described it." He told her after a moment.

"Are you enjoying the heat?" She asked, looking up at him.

"I honestly don't know how you live here, it's like always being by a fire, and then at night it gets rather cold. It's confusing." He said.

Kailasa laughed. "Welcome to the Coast. You should see some of our storms."

"You said it usually rains everyday."

"That doesn't count." She told him. "Those last an hour at most. I'm talking about storms where we are stuck inside our homes for a complete day. Where trees topple over, and where we have to rebuild homes. We've opened up our doors often to shelter the children in the orphanages."

"And you look forward to those?" He asked.

"No, not really, but it is a sight to see." Kailasa stated. "It's amazing to see how people help each other when we are rebuilding after a storm. It makes me feel like people actually care about each other."

"And you open the palace doors for children."

"Always."

"What a philanthropist you are."

"I don't think so." Kailasa said. "It is only the right thing to do." She led him up a grand staircase to the second floor of the palace, lifting her skirt with her free hand so she did not trip over it. "The best thing about this castle is it is rather hard to get lost in. It is rather wide open, so if you make it to a staircase you can make it anywhere in the castle."

"Unlike Winterfell, where every turn looks similar." He said.

Kailasa nodded. "Exactly, but here's a hint that you're going in the right direction." She pointed at the wall, where a trident was on the wall. "It points towards the grand hall, so if you follow them you can always make it there."

"Who made that happen?"

"My father did it for my mother. They're all different metals too. The gold ones are all downstairs."

"And where are the silver ones?" He asked.

Kailasa smiled sadly. "Many metals can look silver, Robb."

"But surely there are silver ones for his only daughter."

"And copper ones for his son." Kailasa told him. "The silver ones are in the tallest tower."

"Is that where your room is?" He asked.

She nodded. "Yes."

"Do you like being in the tallest tower?" He asked.

She nodded. "Yeah, I do actually. I can see everything from up there, I can see ships coming and going. I can see people approaching Goldenbirth, and people leaving Goldenbirth."

"Did you see us approaching?" He asked.

She nodded. "It would be rather hard to not see the Stark banners when you were coming towards us."

"Yes, we don't exactly travel in a small group, like you." He said.

Kailasa shrugged slightly. "If you travel in small groups, you tend to get places quicker."

"Sure, but what about the journey to get somewhere?"

"Sometimes you don't want to remember the journey." She replied, stopping in front of a light blue door. "This is your room."

He nodded.

"Okay." She said.

"Okay." He repeated.

"Well, I have to go now." Kailasa said, backing away a bit.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"I have a few things to take care of." She told him.

"Okay, well just wait a second." He said.

"Hm?"

He took a step to her and kissed her. She wasn't surprised she had no right to be. They had kissed before, but it had never felt so wrong to her. She didn't want this. She didn't want him. Yet she was born for this. She was born to be married for political reasons, even if it wasn't purely political for him.

She loved someone else. A man who was born beneath her. A man that her brother would never forgive for if she married him.

A man that promised he would come for her, but didn't.

It only took a moment for Kailasa to come up with her excuses, and made her leave, knowing that she would cry at some point. And when she made it to her room, Meara was already there waiting for her, lounging on her bed.

Kailasa slowly closed her door behind her. "He didn't come."

"I know." Meara said. "I noticed."

Kailasa looked down at her hands,and began playing with her nails. "I feel bad that I really do not want to marry him."

"You cannot help it." Meara said softly. "You feel what you feel."

"He doesn't deserve this." Kailasa said.

"And you deserve what you were promised." Meara replied. "The world is unfair, make the best of it."

"So I get married tomorrow night?" Kailasa asked. "I say my words, and maybe one day tell him of this?"

"No. You will never tell him of this." Meara replied, her face suddenly serious. "He must never know."

"So I pretend I love him? I pretend I chose him?" Kailasa replied. "You're telling me to lie to him."

"Yes." Meara said. "It will make your life easier."

"Is that why you're not standing up to my brother?" Kailasa asked. "Is it because you don't want to make your life harder?"

"That's unfair."

"Tell me, do you agree with him or me?" Kailasa replied.

"I agree with neither." Meara replied. "I see both sides of the argument."

"You're a liar yourself." Kailasa said. "Get out."

"Pardon?"

"Get out of my room." Kailasa told her. "I don't want to see you right now."

Meara didn't move. "You hate me, don't you?"

"You have until I reach ten to get out of here, unless you want purple on your pretty face." Kailasa told her, darkly. "One. Two. Three."

Slowly, Meara rose, and walked towards the door.

"Four." Kailasa stood to the side. "Five. Six." When she reached seven, Meara was gone.

But Kailasa's fist still met the wooden door with a thud.

XXX

"You don't seem like yourself." Arya told Kailasa later that evening when Kailasa snuck away from everyone. Arya was the only one that noticed the girl leaving. She was the only one that felt like finding the girl, who sat on a stone at the edge of a pool with her dress hitched up to her thighs so her legs could get wet. Her shoes were discarded as if they were thrown away from her.

Kailasa smiled sadly. "Sorry."

Arya sat down next to Kailasa, sitting back on her heels with her legs folded under her. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, little wolf." She smiled, brushing hair away from Arya's face. "It has just been a rather hard few years."

"Can I ask you something?" Arya inquired softly.

"Of course."

"Why didn't you pick Jon?"

Kailasa looked away from her, and to her hands that were laid in her lap. She didn't answer. She couldn't answer.

"I thought you would." Arya went on. "You were always together. He looked at you...and you looked at him like you never looked at Robb."

"Did he come with you here?" Kailasa asked softly.

Arya shook her head. "Mother didn't think he should come, and so he didn't."

Kailasa nodded slowly, not even knowing what she was thinking herself. She didn't know what to say. She just sat there, her feet kicking in the water. The soft lapping of the water melded with the sound of the breeze. Arya waited for a response, though. She needed one.

"Kai..." Arya said. "Why did you choose Robb?"

_I didn't._

Kailasa stood suddenly, and black dots filled her vision. She felt lightheaded. She stumbled backwards, reaching for something to hold onto.

"Kai!" Arya cried, jumping up to help Kailasa, but her back already hit a tree, and she slid down it, her eyes closing.

Kailasa could barely hear the girl, like Arya was whispering from across the room. She could feel her heartbeat, but not much else. By the time she opened her eyes again, she was surrounded by her brother, Meara, Elena, and her nurse.

"Did I-?"

"Kailasa Merrin, have you eaten anything today?" Meara asked.

"Piss off."

"Kailasa!" Her brother reprimanded.

"You can piss off too." Kailasa said, turning to her nurse who was dabbing at her forehead with a damp cloth. "Might I have some water?"

"Of course," Rebecca, poured some into a glass for her, and handed it to her, as Kailasa lifted herself onto her elbows so she could drink. She felt like she could sleep for a while, fainting always took everything from her, even if she didn't want to admit it. She looked at her brother and his wife with a storm brewing in her eyes. "Leave."

"You can't starve yourself to get out of this marriage." Callum told her.

"I forgot to eat. What's the big deal?" Kailasa asked.

"The big deal is that you are getting married tomorrow, and I swear to the gods, if you faint, I will never forget or forgive you." Callum told her.

Kailasa glared at her brother. "I didn't mean to not eat. I just can't stomach being around you. Go away."

"I'll tell the Stark boy that you are just nervous." Callum said. "I will also have some food sent up."

Kailasa rolled her eyes. "Do as you wish. It makes no difference to me."

"You are an ungrateful child, you know that?"

"It's a part of my charm." Kailasa bit out.

Callum just rolled his eyes before leaving, with Meara following, but she paused at the door.

"We're not your enemy."

"No, you're worse. You're my family."

**A/N: **

**babiluv22: Kailasa's dealing with it in her own way. She knows she has to do this a certain way because she does care for Robb, but she doesn't want to marry him. She's also a bit in shock in this chapter because she thought he would be there. Thank you for your review!**

**xxxRena: Thank you! Nope. Nothing is fair, if it was certain people would be still alive. Thank you for your review!**

**Queen of Timey Whimey Stuff: Thank you! Not much of it was seen in this chapter (because this is all from Kailasa's perspective, so that will be coming up more later. Thank you for your review!**

**It's my birthday today…can I get a review as a present?**

**Kat**


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